Nine Naughty Novelists

Snow Day

2012-02-01T11:00:00.002-05:00

The thing about snow days...they throw your whole schedule out of whack. And since you're all familiar with my fondness for lists, let's just skip ahead to the part where I ramble about weather. Again. :)

Things I contemplate on snow days when I'm supposed to be blogging:

1. Moving and packing. Although, I still have a few weeks to go before the last-minute-panic-and-all-around-moving-stress starts to set in.

2. How I used to spend every snow day (except if there was a blizzard) playing outside all day. Nintendo DSwhat? A sled, a cool snowfort and the promise of hot chocolate later was more than enough to sell me on the idea of numbing my little digits to the point of frostbite if other kids were around to play with.

3. How much work I might be getting done if I only had 1 little person asking for drinks, snacks, help etc instead of 3. Ever notice how they always wait until you're finished with one before their sibling pipes up to ask for exactly the same thing they told you they didn't want five minutes ago? Yeah, it's been that kind of morning so far.

4. How much uninterrupted reading time I could be enjoying if not for drink, snack, help etc requests.

5. How many blankets and chairs it would take to build an impenetrable fort that I could use to confine my wild children. What? As if I'm the only one who's ever thought about it.

6. That I probably shouldn't wait until the last minute to come up with a blog topic.

7. That my blog post would have been up sooner if I hadn't taken advantage of a rare sleep-in morning. But really...3 kids under 10. Can anyone really blame me?

8. How many more zombies I have to kill before I reach the next stage on the Playstation.

9. That it's warm and sunny in at least a million other places right now while I'm stuck here with Mother Nature flipping me the bird for my last blog post.

10. Moving and Packing. Who am I kidding? The last-minute-panic-and-all-around-moving-stress set in the second we started talking about buying a house. :)

Guest Blogger Jeanette Grey - But What If I'm Not Normal??

2012-01-31T04:00:00.000-05:00

One of my favorite things about writing romances is coming up with new characters. I love fleshing them out, giving them names, figuring out who they are and what makes them tick. Like many writers, I find little bits and pieces of myself seeping into my characters here and there. I mean, it's unavoidable, right? We write about the things we know, and even if we're trying not to, our own experiences color how we see things, which colors how our characters see things.

But here's the problem: Apparently, characters are supposed to be relatable. Normal, even.

Big problem. Because I'm not normal.

For starters, I've been a vegetarian for ten years. Every time I write a scene that involves food, I get all antsy, trying to decide what normal people would eat. I mean, my red-blooded alpha male probably isn't going to go for the veggie tempura, right?

For another, I'm a former science teacher who's married to an engineer. Star Trek passes for pop culture in my household, and new articles from Scientific American are fodder for small talk.

I still cling to music from the nineties. I don't understand skinny jeans, and I haven't had long, sexy locks since I was sixteen. My house hasn't been clean since about then, either.

Mind you, I'm not so out of touch with the real world that I can't glean some elements of normalcy from it and use that to help infuse my characters. It's a buffer of sorts around the bits of crazy that inevitably do find their way in. Because, sure, I try to keep my own idiosyncrasies from overwhelming my characters, but I've long since given up trying to keep them out completely.

While I want my characters to be relatable, I'm starting to get that normal is relative. Too much 'normalcy' runs the risk of becoming generic, and while a vegetarian, geeky, flannel/baggy-jeans-wearing, short-haired mess might be tipping the scales too far in the other direction, a little quirk is what makes everyone interesting.

So, yeah, I'm not normal. And my characters aren't either.

But that's okay. Because, to me at least, that makes them real.

About Unacceptable Risk:

She may learn to live for love…if vengeance doesn’t kill her first.

Plix spends her lonely, gritty life trying to solve the mysteries her father left behind. Armed with a variety of cybernetic enhancements and a talent for getting into places she shouldn’t be, she searches for clues to his murder—and who’s responsible for poisoning her city.

Waking up on a street corner with her brain wiring fried to a crisp, she figures she must have gotten close this time. There’s only one man she trusts to pull her back from the brink: a tuner who can retrieve the evidence hidden deep in the recesses of her mind. A man she dares not let too close to her heart.

When Edison downloads a secret SynDate schematic from Plix’s burnt-out circuitry, he knows with dreadful finality that nothing—not even the fiery kiss he’s been holding back for years—will stop her from pursuing her quest past the point of insanity.

All he can do, as he helps her plan her final mission, is ease her pain, watch her back…and hope one of them doesn’t pay with their lives.

Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/Unacceptable-Risk-ebook/dp/B005OVZ7X0
Barnes & Noble: http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/unacceptable-risk-jeanette-grey/1105946840
Samhain Store: http://store.samhainpublishing.com/unacceptable-risk-p-6566.html

About Jeanette Grey:

After brief, unsatisfying careers in advertising, teaching, computers, and homemaking, Jeanette Grey has returned to her two first loves: romance and writing.

When she isn’t writing, Jeanette enjoys making pottery, playing board games, and spending time with her husband and her pet frog. She lives, loves, and writes in North Carolina.

She is a member of Romance Writers of America and Carolina Romance Writers.

Website: http://www.jeanettegrey.com/
Twitter: http://twitter.com/#!/jeanettelgrey

Five things I wish I'd learned about Twitter early on

2012-01-30T11:33:00.003-05:00

1. Hashtags are a great way to spread your tweet to a targeted group--but #please don't #overuse #hashtags because that's #really #annoying! #socialmedia #socmed #tip

2. 3rd party management programs, like HootSuite, Seesmic, or Tweetdeck provide more versatility than the twitter website. You can keep track of your lists, hashtags you follow, AND your facebook profiles and pages, all from the same program. Also, these three have mobile app versions, so you can use your phone or tablet to keep up to date.

3. The Buffer app is a great way to not only ensure that you always have tweets going out (you pre-write and queue them up), but the program analyzes your follower activity and sends out your tweets at the optimal times. I like to use this as I'm going through my RSS feed and find interesting articles to share.

4. Put your link 25% of the way through your tweet, and you're more likely to get click-throughs. (Courtesy of Dan Zarella)

5. Follow the 80-20 rule: keep self-promotion to NO MORE than 20% of your outgoing tweets. The other 80% should be general interest information and conversation. This rule holds true for Facebook too.

What have you learned about Twitter that has optimized your usage and made you a more savvy tweeter?

This Post Has No Title

2012-01-27T02:59:00.000-05:00

Yep, that's right. No title. 'Cause I'm just that out of ideas. Blame it on the move from hell. Blame it on the migraine from hell. Blame it on depression or an excess amount of stress, or, you know, whatever. But never mind that. On with the post...

I took a day off this week. I mean really off. You know how people like to say that some days are just not worth getting out of bed for? That was Wednesday. I woke up with a headache (the aforementioned migraine) that I just knew was going to get worse, and I decided nothing was going to be gained by my getting up. So I didn't. And it was nice. It gave me a much-needed break and a chance to re-charge my creative batteries a little bit...or at least I like to think it did.

Anyway, that's what today's post is all about: taking a break, re-filling the creative well, all that good stuff. And, since a picture's worth a thousand words (and because, frankly, my brain's not yet up to speed anyway) I'm using pictures to make my point. Specifically, I'm using the pictures created by Julian Beever...

Julian Beever does the most amazing pavement art. Things like this:

Or this:

I have to admit I love the "behind the scenes" shots just as much. I love knowing how things work. I love the magic involved in crafting illusions. Because that's really what art is all about, isn't it? Creating something that your mind or your heart or your eyes can believe in--if only for a little while.

So I love knowing that this...

Also looks like this...

Or this...

Looks like this:

To see more, check out the website at: http://www.julianbeever.net/pave.htm And TGIF. Happy weekend, everyone!

Put a Raincoat On That Soldier!

2012-01-26T04:00:00.000-05:00

Like most romance writers, I have to write the occasional sex scene (actually, more than occasional unless you want your book to slide into the “sweet” category). And like most romance writers, I grapple with a central point—who’s going to be responsible for protection this time around?

Actually, it’s not much of a struggle. Most of us go with the guy and condoms. As a matter of fact, I actually had a reader ask me once why none of the women in Konigsburg took the pill because it seemed to him the men were always the ones who did the protecting.

I’m not sure why I do my scenes this way. But I think one reason I have my heroes doing the protection rather than my heroines may well be because I want to be very upfront about my characters using safe sex, and having the hero take responsibility makes that very obvious. Contrary to the misconceptions of some uninformed critics, romance novels have stressed safe sex at least from the nineties on (and I’m guessing it showed up in at least some novels in the eighties). We may not have the obsession with Big Ideas that characterizes our lit fic brethren, but we do have a few points most of us are adamant about, and safe sex is one of them.

Still, getting that safe sex into the book can sometimes be a pain and a half. Picture it: Hero and heroine are hot to trot. They’re shucking off their clothes and heading for the first flat surface that appeals to them. They’re there. They’re ready. And…where’s the condom? Oh, okay, it’s back in the hero’s pants. Where are his pants? Back in the hall where he shucked them. Rats.

Okay, maybe the heroine has a condom box in her bedside table. But then all of a sudden it’s the heroine who’s telling the hero she’s got condoms. And suddenly the plot takes a possibly unexpected turn. Because whenever one of the characters actually talks about protection, that makes protection itself a plot point. Now that may work (I used it myself in Wedding Bell Blues), but it may introduce a conversation you don’t need or want in a sex scene.

So assuming we’re going to let the hero do the protecting, here are some things to keep in mind:

1. If the hero is naked, he can’t whip a condom out unless he has it concealed in some really unfortunate place

2. Condoms themselves can be funny if that’s appropriate to the story. Linda Howard does this (hilariously) in Open Season.

3. Although the hero produces the condom, the heroine can always put it on him.

4. Few writers actually deal with the details of disposing of a condom after sex just because it doesn’t seem necessary. On the other hand, it’s worth pointing out that multiple sex acts require multiple condoms, something erotica writers have to contend with.

Actually, I just wrote a couple of stories that had a heroine tell the hero she was on the pill, and it wasn’t that hard. Still, I’m not sure what’s going to happen from now on. It’s sort of on a case-by-case basis.

And my title? That was the advice the father of my son’s friend gave him after stumbling haplessly through the “responsible sex” lecture. It may sound a little weird, but it’s still apt.

So, dear readers, what do you think? Do condoms in a story make you squick? Seen anybody do a good job of working in birth control pills? Or do you just wish the whole issue would disappear (here’s a hint: it won’t)?

Guest Blogger Gabriella Hewitt - The Ultimate Hero

2012-01-24T04:00:00.000-05:00

Lately, I have been doing a lot of soul searching and I’m thinking I need more than a flashlight and a plastic bag to get rid of half the garbage I am touting around.

Sometimes I need to take a step back and realize that crap is going to pile up along with the laundry, that someone is going to piss me off with some irrelevant rude comment and I’m going to lose my car keys when I need to go pick up my kids from school.

Just when I think things have gotten out of control and I want to vent to the world, then I go food shopping and listen to the woman at the checkout counter talk about how she has to finish up her shift and go to her night job to pay her way through college, or listen to a kid beg his father for a candy bar but dad quietly tells him “no” and then gives the cashier a WIC check. That is when it hits me that my life is good and I shouldn’t complain. Then I go home and watch an episode of Real Housewives, shake my head, kiss my washing machine and get down to business with the dirty laundry.

Hey, I’m human and life has a way of getting messy, but that’s okay because it’s those messy bits that make for a good story.

I take those little moments of eavesdropping in on the drama unfolding with my neighbors and wonder how I can make a hero appear out of all that mess, give a girl some hope and somewhere in there drop a big, scary monster to slay.

The world needs heroes and I am more than happy to oblige. The opportunity to get lost in another place, to leave behind all the stupid stuff, even if just for a moment, brings me joy. The satisfaction of getting to chop off a head or tear down a wall and be the big, bad bitch I always wanted to be, is priceless.

I think it is the beauty of being a writer, the opportunity to escape and solve all the problems of the world with a strong man with a dark soul and a huge sword, as in the case of my Aztec Shadow Warriors, a macuahuitl. Best of all, I get to showcase some hot and heavy lovemaking that transcends the universe and defeats evil.

Tomás is my perfect hero, muscular, tan, dark eyes, and long black hair. He was born to be a warrior, a lone sexy male with a beastly side that can’t be tamed. Tomás is a lost soul with the burden of destroying demons that plague the earth and while trying to save humanity. ((SIGH)) Now I wonder if he can save me from my laundry hell…Then he truly would be the ultimate hero.

Do you have a perfect hero? What would he look like, what powers would he have, and how could he save your day?

Leave a comment and be entered to win an ebook copy of OUT OF THE SHADOWS.

OUT OF THE SHADOWS ~ Samhain Publishing~ Available Now

Book 1 in the Shadow Warriors series.

With each demon he vanquishes in service to the Aztec sun god, Tomás fulfills his duty to defend humankind—and surrenders another piece of his humanity to his wolf spirit. All hope seems lost until a mission leads him to the door of the one thing he thought he’d never find…his spirit mate. The only woman who can save him from oblivion.

When Carolina hears the wolf’s howl, it pierces the very core of her lonely heart. Yet she dare not answer. As the last guardian of her land and the secret it contains, she is haunted by the mistake that cost the lives of her family. Never will she repeat that mistake, especially with a warrior who is more beast than man.

Chasing away the demon is easier than breaching the barriers around the heart of the young woman who possesses a strange power over water—and his very soul. But if they are to survive the night, he must convince her they are destined to stand together.

When the last shadow warrior falls, so will all humanity.

Read an excerpt: http://www.gabriellahewitt.com/bookshelf/out-of-the-shadows/#read-an-excerpt

Buy Link: http://www.gabriellahewitt.com/bookshelf/

SHADOW VISIONS ~ Book 2~coming March 20th ~Samhain Publishing

About the author:

Gabriella Hewitt is the pen name of creative writing talents Sasha Tomaszycki and Patrizia M.J. Hayashi. Together they weave tales of romantic suspense and dangerously sensual paranormals. Check out the website www.GabriellaHewitt.com to find out about upcoming releases and events on their blog. You can also follow them on Twitter: @GabriellaHewitt.

I F$#&ing love swearing!

2012-01-23T03:00:00.001-05:00

I grew up with a father whose language was colourful, to say the least (and hilarious, truth be told). When I was a kid, my sister and I had a “cuss box” where we made my dad put a quarter in every time he swore. We made a lot of money off it, while wearing our little clean-mouthed halos.

It wasn’t until I was a teenager that I started using swear words, and at first it was actually uncomfortable for me. In fact, I’m not sure when it became so comfortable for me to swear. My friends swear. I’ve always had a lot of “guy friends” and they swear a lot. When I started working, I found a lot of people swore in the office. I do know that when I got married, I had to learn to watch what I said around my straight-laced in-laws. Had a few embarrassing moments when things slipped out in front of them. Then when I had kids, I had to watch what I said even more. It actually wasn’t that hard, once the habit was broken.

As the kids got older, my tongue got looser. Then they learned swear words from their friends that I`d never heard of, LOL.

Now, I fucking love swearing!

So I was interested to learn recently that there are benefits to swearing. People need an outlet for strong emotions. It helps relieve stress, blow off steam. It can also help establish a group identity, express solidarity with other people, and express trust and intimacy (apparently mostly when women swear in the presence of other women). It can also add humour, emphasis or "shock value"(I’m particularly fond of that!) Also swearing when you’re in pain can apparently help you endure more pain. This is kind of funny, because the doctor who led the research into this got the idea for the study after watching his wife give birth to their daughter while swearing a blue streak while she pushed and pushed.

I can relate to that.

Who hasn’t stubbed their toe and yelled out a resounding “FUCK!” Well, it turns out there’s a good reason for yelling out a swear word (or maybe a few!). It’s part of the “fight or flight” response. It’s aggressive, which helps reduce your sensitivity to pain.

What is it about certain words that can do that?

Swear words fall into different categories:

Deistic (related to religion): Jesus Christ! Oh my God!

Visceral (related to the human body and its functions): Fuck! Shit!

Relating to someone’s ancestry or parentage: Bitch! Bastard!

My most recently completed manuscript, One Man Advantage, features a heroine who is French Canadian. She`s fluently bilingual, but she swears in French. A lot of French swearing is the “deistic” type, which are curses against the Catholic church, for example: Mon ostie de saint-sacrament de câlice de crisse! You can’t even really translate that, it doesn’t make any sense. But it’s bad. Very bad.

Researchers have theorized that men swear to create a masculine identity and women swear to be more like men. I don’t know about that. I think I swear for the reasons above. I swear when I’m stuck in traffic and frustrated. I swear when someone pisses me off. I swear when I hurt myself. I probably would have sworn a lot while delivering my babies, but I was too conscious of the other people around. Now I know I should have, it probably would have helped the pain!

But it does seem more socially acceptable for men to swear than for women. In my writing, my characters swear but I do tend to have my men swear more, and more vulgarly, than my female characters. To me, this is how real people talk. A guy who says, “Oh darn,” or “oh fudge” just isn’t going to be realistic to me. My female characters swear too, because again, that’s realistic to me, but they swear in different ways and at different times. I’m more aware of my language when I’m with people I don’t know...I won’t swear in front of them. And certainly in business situations like meetings, and especially with clients, I don’t swear. And neither do my female characters. But my male characters might. And they do swear in bed.

My favourite swear word is the F word. It’s so versatile. So expressive. From “What the fuck? to “He’s fucking nuts” to “Fuck off” to “Fuck me” ― there are so many different ways to use it. But it has to be used in moderation. Otherwise, it loses its impact.

So what do you think? Do you swear? What are your favourite swear words?

Whether the Weather

2012-01-20T02:00:00.000-05:00

Oh, the weather outside is frightful...

We're on day four of the snowpocalypse here in the northwest. Snow is blanketing much of the region, from a few inches (where I am) up to a foot and a half or more (where the rest of my family is). This is one of those times where working 90 miles away from home is a real pain.

On the other hand, I'm safely ensconced on the couch, under a cozy blanket, watching the snow continue to fall. There are salted-caramel brownie bites on the kitchen counter, and my office is closed so I don't even have to burn a vacation day to stay home out of the cold.

At home, they've lost power twice in two days, it's now raining to beat the band (and bringing with it major fears of flooding, which happens all too frequently in our neck of the woods), the kids can't go outside to play so they're getting hit with cabin fever, and we're looking at school not getting out until late June now.

It's true, what Erin Nicholas told me the other night - we're wusses about weather out here. A couple of measly inches, and the entire region shuts down. But I suppose that's a better alternative than having people who see snow once or twice a year, at most, sliding around on slick roads in out-of-control vehicles. And I do love the snow, as long as it doesn't overstay its welcome.

Take now, for instance. I drove up here a day early, between snow flurries, so I wouldn't get trapped by the weather and be unable to get in to work. I have only a few vacation days since I just started the job, and I really didn't want to use them all up for this sort of situation. I had to cancel my usual trip home during the week due to treacherous road conditions. And now I'm looking at the calendar, hoping against hope that the rain starts soon or I'll be up here over the weekend as well.

I'm ready for our usual northwest rainy winter, thank you very much!

What's the weather like in your neck of the woods? Is it typical, or something unexpected this year?

Thirteen Events in the "Hawaiian Olympics"

2012-01-19T04:19:00.000-05:00

We just fled Alaska for a few weeks of sunshine on the BigIsland. In our funky, groovy, offbeat part of the island, called Puna, peoplehave a whole different approach to life. Puna is home to spiritual seekers of all sorts, yoga-surf bums, Katsu massage therapists, organic ganja farmers, and a few runaway Alaskans like ourselves. If there were a Hawaiian Olympics, Iwould nominate these thirteen events -- all part of everyday life here in what’sknown as "the Punaverse."

1. Fire dancing. While this is a spectacular marquee event, it does require extensive training. This particular competitor traveled from Japan to showcase her skill.

2. Rainbow spotting. This event, on the other hand, is open to pretty much anyone.

3. Jungle vine swinging. Kids tend to excel at this particular sport.

4. Tortoise racing. Not exactly fast-paced, but still a crowd favorite.

5. Competitive chips and salsa eating. Depending on the season, this may also involve massive amounts of guacamole.

6. Coconut hacking. Bring your own machete.

7. A challenging double event: rainbow-spotting while camping.

8. Sunrise watching. Even the teenagers will get up early for this one!

9. Fruit identifying. Breadfruit? Soursop? Relenia? Jackfruit? Who knows?

10. Mosquito repelling. We practice this event even in our sleep.

11. Scenery gazing. In this event, everyone wins.

12. Hot lava poking. This event depends on the mood of Pele, goddess of the volcano.

13. Hammock lounging. Needless to say, this one's my personal best.

As you can imagine, I plan to train hard for many of theseevents during our time here, although I may leave the fire dancing to theexperts.

Aloha from the Punaverse,

Juniper

Guest Blogger Miranda Baker - Vegas Baby!

2012-01-17T04:00:00.000-05:00

Vegas, baby!

My husband and I are going away for the weekend! Yes! Sans kids! Hell, yes! It will be the first “vacation” we’ve taken alone for almost six years. The last time we were naked in a hotel room together I was pregnant with our third and last child.

Whoa.

I really didn’t think it had been THAT long. Huh. Well, whatever – with children comes responsibility and we love the little buggers! Our youngest has just reached the age where we feel like we can leave him with Grandma and Grandpa and he’ll be excited instead of traumatized. I’m hoping this equals a guilt-free trip for us because we’re planning a weekend of sex and poker in sin city. We’ve already decided to check our luggage, so we can pack naughty things and not blush during a bag search. We’re also going to see Zumanity, the sensual side of Cirque du Soleil (http://www.cirquedusoleil.com/en/shows/zumanity/media/official-video.aspx). I am hoping, praying, and willing to trade just about anything for the ability to relax.

Confession: I work a lot. I am (some would say obsessively) project-oriented. It’s gotten worse since I got published because I’ve taken on another job in addition to my teaching and mom-ing. Working 16/24 has become my normal and the thought of unplugging, even for a weekend, makes me feel a little schvitzy. But I must. In my heart, I know it would be ridiculous to go to Vegas and do the same things I do in New York. (Irony: We’re staying at the New York, New York Casino.) I’m not going to get rip-roaring drunk, gamble like crazy, or hire a hooker. (Maybe.) I’m going to do something even more bizarre for me: I’m not going to work. *deep breath* I can do that, right? (Note: Research done in strip clubs, sex clubs or with the jack of clubs doesn’t count as work!)

By the time this posts, I’ll be back home. (I’m working ahead, LOL!) I’d love to chat about Vegas in the comments – did I mention I’m a Vegas Virgin? I’m not a gambler (yet) but my husband is a hell of a poker player. I’ll tell you about our weekend, and I hope you’ll have some stories to tell me, too. A random commenter will win something I bring back with me. Lord only knows what will catch my eye! If you don’t have any Vegas stories, feel free to chime in with something crazy or challenging you have done in the name of fun. In the name of fun…I will not work. And when I get back, I’ll tell you all about it!

About Miranda Baker

It makes me chuckle to think about all the romantic short stories I wrote in my rather too literary creative writing classes in college. If only one of my professors had steered me toward popular fiction! On the other hand, if I had discovered my calling back then, I wouldn’t have gone to culinary school, I wouldn’t have met my husband, we wouldn’t have had three children and I wouldn’t have turned to erotic romance to get my mojo back during all this hair-raising kid raising.

My website: http://www.mirandabaker.com

Amazon Buy link: http://www.amazon.com/SoloPlay-Come-Again-Book-ebook/dp/B004X2ADGC/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1326208792&sr=8-1

SoloPlay
Come Again, Book 2

It takes two to toy with love.

When librarian Alisa Mane’s boyfriend accuses her of being frigid, she sets out to prove him wrong the only way she knows how—with research.

A visit to the local sex shop uncovers the sizzling sensuality locked beneath her cool façade, and she eagerly accepts the opportunity to test sex toys for SoloPlay Enterprises. Under the code name “Sologirl”, she begins exploring her body on her own terms. After all, no one was ever rejected by a vibrator.

Mark Winters needs his new DoublePlay line of toys to hit big, and there’s only one tester for the job—Sologirl. She fires his imagination with playfully erotic reviews and never fails to pick a winner. There’s only one problem—Sologirl refuses to test the DoublePlay toys for couples. With his company’s success on the line, he decides to make his offer again, up close and in person.
One look at the icy hot Mark and Alisa realizes he’s her best chance to discover if any man can satisfy her. A red-hot month of experimentation more than answers that question, but now Alisa has another problem—DoublePlay is almost ready for production and her feelings for Mark have nothing to do with business. Is she brave enough to continue playing…with her heart?

Product Warning: This book contains a sexy librarian, an icy hot businessman, scandalous emails, scorching male/female and female/female play time, and vibrating, well…everything.

C'mon Spring

2012-01-16T08:38:00.003-05:00

Top five reasons I cannot wait for spring...

1. My hands get freakishly cold when I'm typing during the winter months. I keep telling myself I need a pair a gloves with the fingertips cut off, but never quite get around to it. Apparently losing feeling in my fingers motivates me to keep writing???

2. The closer we get to March/April the less the meteorologists will talk like we're all waiting for the snow to really hit. What are these people smoking? I don't know about the rest of you, but I'm not losing any sleep over the fact that mother nature is keeping all those fluffy snowflakes of doom to herself.

3. Warmer Weather. It tends to be sunny a lot of the winter where I live, especially this year with very little snow, but I'm talking splash in the ocean while pretending it's not turning your toes an unnatural shade of blue warm, sitting around with a cold beer and steaks grilling on the BBQ warm, rolling yourself in baby oil and baking on a sandy beach warm. Just for the record the latter is not my thing, but I'm always greatly amused by those who lather up like a marinated turkey while the rest of us drench ourselves in SPF50.

4. Spring puts us that much closer to summer. Enough said.

5. I don't actually have a fifth reason, and need to get back to writing and freezing my hands. :)

And since nothing passes the time on a -18F day like curling up with a good book, what are you guys reading right now? I just finished AngelFall by Susan Ee (loved it, only .99 on Amazon) and now I'm reading Kresley Cole's, Lothaire.

Where Do Ideas Come From?

2012-01-12T13:46:00.004-05:00

So today's post is going up kind of late. And no, I didn't forget. I was all set to write about the recent author-reviewer craziness until somebody stole my idea. (hi, Meg.)

Only kidding. I mean, it's not like I mentioned this idea to anyone. It was more a matter of great minds thinking alike. But it still left me with a problem: Nothing to write about. And after the really annoying meeting I was forced to attend last night put me in an even worse mood, I couldn't even find my motivation. So at two a.m. I said "I'll worry about it tomorrow" and went to bed.

Sometimes, that's all it takes. I woke up this morning (and yes, I live on the West Coast where it's still morning, thank you very much) and decided to answer the question all writers hate. Where do ideas come from.

We hate this question for two main reasons. One, we're asked it constantly. Two, there is no one single answer. But, being as it's Thursday once again, I'm going to list thirteen examples. So, here goes.

1. Things we see. I remember sightseeing in Florida with one of my best friends and fellow authors. I can't recall now what we saw, but I do remember seeing something that made me think excitedly, "Story!" I turned to her only to find her turning to me with the same gleeful expression on her face and that same excitement in her eyes. You could practically see those plot bunnies filling the car.

2. Things we hear. One of my favorite author hangouts has to be the Kiss of Death forum where romantic suspense authors get together to share all manner of fascinating, bizarre and deadly factoids. My favorite is still this one: "Unless it encounters a solid object, a bullet will travel for several miles before falling to the ground." Most people who hear that probably think: Physics. (Hi Kinsey). Unless you're an attorney, I guess, in which case you're probably thinking, Lawsuit! But an author will hear that and think, Ooh, story! I swear, one day I will write that one!

3. Things we overhear. Most writers I know are unapologetic eavesdroppers. It used to drive my family crazy when we were out at a restaurant and I'd become totally absorbed in the conversations taking place...at the surrounding tables. Fascinating stuff you hear that way. And, yes, I still do it, but the fam has gotten used to it.

4. Books we love. Writers wouldn't become writers if we weren't readers first. We love books and sometimes, we'll read something that resonates and we think, "Yes. That." It's not stealing and it's not an homage either. It's a matter of ideas begetting other ideas. And, no, you'd never be able to tell from the finished product that there's anything to connect the two stories.

5. Books we hate. Some ideas are like the tiny bit of sand that works its way inside an oyster shell. That book you couldn't finish reading, the one you threw against the wall? Someone else can turn that idea into a pearl. Or, at least, so we tell ourselves.

6. Other media. TV shows, movies, it doesn't take much to spark a story. Want proof? Just look at all the fanfic out there. Sometimes, it's the way the actors look, sometimes it's the way the characters behave, sometimes it's because we freaking can't stand the way the writers of a TV series effed up the whole damn show. No matter. We have our own ideas of how things should have gone.

7. Things readers say. Just a few weeks ago I had this happen. A reader mentioned she'd love to read one of my stories from the point of view of the non-narrative character. Story! (Hi, Kim) A few years ago, during an online chat, a reader asked the authors present what was the most unlikely pairing of characters they could imagine. I immediately thought of a blacksmith and a fairy: Someone whose livelihood depends on his ability to work with iron and someone whose life depends on avoiding all contact with iron. I'll give you three guesses which of my books was spawned from that idea!

8. People we know. My sister lives in fear of this one. She's always certain I'm going to write about her. The truth is, I'm more motivated to write stories based on people I don't like. Think of it as an exorcism. I can get all my frustrations out by writing bad people into badder situations. lol!

9. Childhood. Are all writers nostalgic? Probably not, but it can sure seem that way. Whether it's re-writing history (so that that embarrassing event from Junior High becomes a victory for one of your characters) or re-living a time or place you remember fondly, the past has probably given birth to more story ideas than anything else. Even if you're writing sci-fi.

10. Song lyrics. Let's face it, most song lyrics don't make a whole lot of sense. My family keeps telling me: stop listening to the words! But I just can't do it. They're words. I believe they should make sense. And, damn it all, I'm going to take those words and make them make sense if it kills me.

11. Editors. Any author who's not mining their editors' minds for fabulous story ideas is missing out. Just saying.

12. Dreams. I love dreaming and this might be my favorite story source ever. There's absolutely no work involved and no one can claim you're stealing. Hell, you weren't even awake when the story fairies broke into your mind and deposited their gold in your subconscious. I have at least three story ideas in the works that came from dreams.

13. Out of the clear blue. Sometimes they just pop into your head. Call it a gift from the writing gods, if you want, but sometimes an idea, a title, a first line will just appear. You can write a whole book, hell, you can write a whole series just from one good sentence.

Okay, that's it. There are at least half a dozen other story-generating ideas I had to cut out of this post to make it fit the Thursday Thirteen theme. How many more can you think of:?

A Message To Crazy Town

2012-01-11T04:00:00.002-05:00

Before I begin, let me make something clear. This message is directed to only a few authors, probably none of whom read this blog. Nonetheless, it has to be said. Ready?

Okay, you’re got to stop it. Really. You’ve just GOT TO STOP. Over the past few months, the number of online author meltdowns has begun to reach critical mass. First there was Jacqueline Howett and the ugliness over the Greek Seaman review. Then there were the widely publicized reviewer wars waged by Alice Hoffman and Laurell K. Hamilton (all of which have since been taken down). Then there was the whole Goodreads debacle (two of them, no less). Then Julie Halpern went medieval on a reviewer’s ass on her blog (the post has since been taken down). And now Mike Coe has decided a negative review from The Self-Publishing Review rates forty (yes, forty) comments in the space of a half hour (the entire amazing exchange can be found here).

The response on Twitter has been predictable. Reviewers calling authors crazy. Authors calling authors crazy. Readers wondering WTF. Way back before the Mike Coe episode, I had written a rather mild blog post in which I explained that posting this kind of response to reviewers wasn’t effective and inevitably made the author look ridiculous. But at this point, I think stronger measures are called for.

So… STOP WRITING THIS CRAP, RIGHT NOW! You’re making all of us look bad. As Moira Rogers/Bree pointed out, every time an author goes nuts in his/her response to a reviewer, it puts other authors in the position of having to prove that we aren’t nuts too. That we’ve gotten lousy reviews and sucked it up. That we’ve seen Amazon comments on our books that weren’t anywhere close to reality and we’ve just let them go. One nutzoid author makes all other authors suspect. And god help the author who gets reviewed after the reviewer has just gone through one of these debacles!

We all know what you’re supposed to do when something like this happens, right? You complain to your friends. You complain to your Significant Other. Maybe you even complain to your editor. And then you move on. If you feel you must write something in response, you write it and then you keep it for your own enjoyment. You DON’T send it off!

Why is that so hard to understand? Maybe because the Internet seems oddly personal. If you post something on your own blog, it’s just for you and your friends, right? Wrong! Ask Julie Halpern or Laurell K. Hamilton. Once it’s out there, it’s out there. And woe be unto you, toots.

So let’s have a few weeks of quiet, shall we? Nobody posts anything. Everybody keeps calm. Reviewers return to reading. Authors return to writing—their books. General amity prevails.

Until next time. Sigh.