Is There a 12-Step Program for This?

There might be something wrong with me. Something so sick, so twisted, I should probably get professional help. But who would believe me? Who would take on someone with such a bizarre and incomprehensible condition? They say the first step is admitting your problem. So here it is...

I like doing my taxes. Wait! Don’t shun me! Hear me out…

I’m not talking about the part where you hand over your money to the government. I like some of the things they do with it, others not so much. This is not a political post. And I’m not talking about actually doing my taxes—like figuring out depreciation and margin interest and lord knows what else. My accountant does the hard numbers work.

I’m talking about digging out my receipts, going through my checkbook, tracking down missing credit card statements. It’s like reliving the year all over again.

The thirty-plus charges at Island Naturals in Hawaii bring back blissful memories of excessive lilikoi-coconut pudding consumption. I can practically taste the passionfruit…And look, all those charges from Orlando, Florida! The 2010 RWA conference! How fun was that... And I had no idea I spent quite that much at certain e-publishers sites. But that’s okay, it’s research.

I see why investigators look first at people’s credit card statements to figure out what they’re up to. I get a whole different perspective on myself when I do my taxes. I can see when my husband the carpenter came into my life. All of sudden, hardware store charges began to appear. I can see that most of my Christmas shopping happened embarrassingly close to Christmas. It’s right there in black and white. You can run but you can’t hide from your credit card statements.

Reviewing your expenditures over the past year is great for shattering your delusions about yourself. Yes, I DO spend a lot of money on ebooks. Yes, I DO spend an inordinate amount of time in coffee shops and no, a tea and muffin is NOT virtually nothing. Those charges add up. I’m not saying how much. Barb’s Video took a healthy chunk of my income. Do we really watch that many DVD’s? Yep.

Even if what I discover makes me cringe, it still feels good to go over it all. It makes me feel I’ve brought order to the chaos of my spending. When I’m done, I feel cleansed and forgiven. Forgive me, IRS, for I have overspent. In penance, I will say ten Hail MBaM’s and pay whatever my accountant tells me.

So there you have it. My deep dark secret is out. Is there hope for me?

What about you? Am I the only one with this weird problem, or is there anyone else out there who doesn’t mind doing their taxes? If you want to vent about how horrible they are, that’s okay too. Let's hear it!