Coitus Interruptus

Now that I’ve got your attention…I have to confess this blog post is about writing sex, not having it.  Or, as has been the case entirely too frequently  in the last few weeks, not writing it.

See, I’ve been wrestling with a rather tight deadline this past month.  It’s for a cozy little erotic sci-fi M/M/F ménage story that’s due out this December, just in time for Christmas.

What? It's a holiday story, can't you tell? (Details HERE)

As the days slip past—far too quickly—I’m getting a little panicky. Writing sex is made immeasurably more difficult when you’re constantly being interrupted.

Anyway, since I really haven’t even had time to write anything (other than said book, which is currently two scenes away from being completed—yay!) I’ve decided to make today’s post a virtual night-in-the-life here at Casa Forte.  This was the night of September 26th but, it could have been pretty much any night this past month with only minor variations. And it goes like this:

Me [writing]  He woke her in the manner she loved most; with his lips on her neck. His morning beard rasped her sensitive skin. He spooned her from behind, his arms wrapped tight around her. One curved around her ribcage, his hand cupping her breast, fingers toying with her nipple. The other extended over her hip, slipping between her legs, long fingers lightly brushing her clit…

MIL [Speaking up suddenly from right behind me] Are you busy?

Me: [jumps. Turns to find MIL sitting on bench that I’ve foolishly located just a few feet from my desk] Uh, well, I am writing.

MIL: Oh, okay, well I just have a couple of questions.

Me: Okay…

MIL:  When did Barbra Streisand die?

Me: Uh…she didn’t die.

MIL: Oh, that’s a relief. But then why can’t I see her?

Me: Oh, well…I think she decided not to do any more appearances.

MIL: No, I mean in my room. I can hear her singing, but there’s no picture on the TV.

Me: That’s because you’re listening to a CD. The TV isn’t on.

MIL: Oh, that explains it. [gets up and goes back upstairs]

Me: [reading over what I wrote]  yada, yada, yada “long fingers lightly brushing her clit…” Where the hell was I going with that?  Grrr.  [Posts on Twitter]:

@PGForte: have now proven it's impossible to write hot sex while one's MIL is sitting right behind you--even when she's not close enough to read it.

‏@GraylinFox: @PGForte have a new release today. More swag we can sit behind and giggle at #rt13.

@PGForte: .@GraylinFox yay! congrats on your new release. Details!!

 ‏@GraylinFox: @PGForte  http://www.graylinfox.com/Bloodlines.html  details link :)

Me: Hmm. Must check that out. [Follows link. Buys book. Goes back to writing.]  She moaned and arched against him and his touch grew more demanding.

“Open.” His voice husky and low turned her liquid. She spread willingly, lifting her top leg and sliding it back to rest on his. She hooked her foot beneath his calf and he shifted his own leg back, drawing her leg with it, opening her even wider to his touch…

IM from Daughter: Hey, that book you just downloaded looks interesting. Can I borrow it?

Me: Sure. What’s up with you?

Daughter: Nothing. What’s up with you?

Me: trying to write.

Daughter: Okay. I'll leave you alone then. I’m going to go read.

Me:  [looks blankly at screen for a minute] Yeah, this isn’t working.  Maybe I should check my email…

Email from Erin Nicholas: Write up for Game Night event: Twenty Questions with PG Forte, Kelly Jamieson & Erin Nicholas. The game will be held at the Oberon Chat Room in a chat format on Wednesday, October 10th from 7-9 p.m. Central Standard Time. 

Erin: okay, we each need to probably decide which categories we want to use…

Kelly: I think some of the categories need to be a lot broader. Popular places to have sex I'M HAVING A HARD TIME THINKING WHAT QUESTIONS THEY'D ASK FOR THIS ONE...

Me: I'm thinking questions for 'places to have sex' would go something like this.

One of Us [OOU]: I'm thinking of a popular place to have sex.

Questioner[Q]: Is it at home?

OOU: no.

Q: is it outside?

OOU: no

Q: Is it a hotel or a motel? Is that two questions?

OOU: no

Q: is it in a restaurant?

OOU: no

Q: A bed & breakfast?

OOU: no

Q: How about in an office?

OOU: no

(Etc, etc, x 20)

Kelly: Okay wait – do people HAVE to ask 20 questions before they can guess?

Me:     lol! No.  I was just having too much fun with that to stop.

Me:  [resumes writing] “Yeah, like that,” he murmured approvingly. He slipped one finger inside her. “So wet.” He pulled out, spreading her moisture over her lower lips, circling her clit with it. “You’re so wet for me baby.”

MIL:  [coming down the stairs] You’re still up. Aren’t you tired?

Me: Huh? What?

MIL: Are you still working on your book?

Me: Yes. See, I have this deadline…

MIL: Oh, you have a deadline. That’s a good thing.

Me: I guess. [looks at clock] Are you having trouble sleeping?

MIL:  Yes. I guess I’m not used to sleeping a new place.

Me: You’ve been here seven months.

MIL: Seven months! Okay, well, I’m just going to walk around for a bit and see if I can’t familiarize myself with everything.

Me: Okay, I’m going back to work…maybe. [looks at screen again} Or maybe not.  Maybe I’ll check out Facebook.  Oh, that’s cool. [hits share]

IM from Moira Keith: Aren’t you supposed to be writing?  That deadline to finish this book is only a week off...

 Me: Nooooo! Don't remind me. I'm in deep, deep denial.

 Moira:  Someone sent me a message to tell me they love the cover for book two. Damn it!!! It's not even half written yet.

 Me: What? where's the cover????

 Moira:  http://moonlightseries.moirakeith.com/books/shadows-and-moonlight/

 Me: OMG, that's absolutely stunning.

MIL: Okay, I’m going to try and go back to bed.

Me:  Okay, Have a good night. [resumes writing]   His other hand was on her throat now; his thumb urging her chin higher. He nuzzled her ear. “I wish I had all day to spend with you. If I had the time I’d drive you so crazy. I’d tease you ’til you begged for it…”

And so it goes...