The Husband List

Next Friday, New Year’s Eve, I’ll be ending the year 2010 with a bang. Yes, that kind of bang. After all, I’ll be getting married.

I waited a long time to find the right man. Actually, I didn’t “wait.” I dated, I searched…you might say I went to the School of Hard Knocks of Relationships. I made a lot of mistakes, learned plenty of lessons. Now, I like to think it all had a purpose—so that when I met my (about to be) husband, I would know just how special he is.

Back in my “looking” days, I was told to make a list of the things I wanted in a mate. You know, things like “sense of humor” and “financially stable.” Or maybe, “nice ass.” Every time I tried that, I felt silly and gave up. Can you really order up a husband like a Subway sandwich? Now I wish I had made a list, so I could compare it to the amazing person I wound up with.

So I hope you don’t mind if I write a different list--a few of the many things I love about my very unique husband-to-be.

1. He always knows when something’s bothering me, and he makes me talk about it. I’m one of those people who keeps things inside. He doesn’t let me do that. He gets me talking, which isn’t always easy, and he truly listens to what comes out, even if he’s the one I’m upset with.
2. He has an extremely open mind. I’ve rarely, if ever, heard him express any negative judgment about another person. He finds all people interesting and loves talking to them. Have you heard the phrase ‘a stranger is just a friend you haven’t met yet’? That’s him. He lives that.
3. Before I met him, I’d heard of the “practice of happiness,” the idea that happiness comes from your own mind and attitude, not from external circumstances. But it was just an abstract concept until I saw how he lives. He always takes the bright, positive road. Not that he hasn’t suffered. He’s had plenty of bad things happen to him. But he never lets that change his basic approach to life, which is to have fun and be happy.
4. He loves adventure. But he also loves hanging out with family. It’s all good to him—all part of the unfolding mystery of the universe (his phrase.)
5. He’s unbelievably ingenious. He’s a carpenter, but so much more than that. He’s a creative visionary whose medium happens to be everyday stuff. He can transform an old schoolbus into a functioning commercial kitchen. He can go to the dump and find ten things that can be fixed up or used in some new way. He’s passionate about recycling materials so that nothing goes to waste. He can see potential in something that looks like junk to others.
6. He follows his own light, his own inner voice, and doesn’t care if others think he’s odd. “Normal” means nothing to him. Being with someone like that is very inspiring and freeing.
7. He thinks it’s beyond cool that I write erotic romance.
8. He’s an incredible father who’s able to see things from a child’s point of view. He doesn’t get into power struggles with his kids. They know he’s the boss, although a gentle, playful one who occasionally has to remind them of his authority.
9. He’s the opposite of a commitment-phobe. He loves the idea of being committed to one person. Lucky for me, I’m that person.
10. He has a nice ass.

As you may be able to tell, I not only love this man, I have a tremendous respect for him and how he chooses to live his life. I feel as if I’m not only getting a husband, but my own personal wizard. He’s brought so much magic and wonder and joy into my life. But could I ever have imagined this list back in my single days? I doubt it. Even a romance writer doesn’t have that great an imagination.