Why John Grisham is Right

Did anyone else catch John Grisham’s New York Times article about the various jobs he had before becoming a massively successful bestselling author? He wrote it in honor of Labor Day, and he described his years as a plumber’s assistant, an asphalt layer and a litigator. The conclusion of the article was that out of all his jobs, being an author was the most difficult.

I loved this article because it made me feel kind of proud of myself. Here I am, doing the hardest job of all! Harder than crawling under houses looking for leaks. Harder than paving roads during a Mississippi summer. I ran right out and told my carpenter fiancé that even though mixing that concrete might look hard, it was nothing compared to hammering out a plot point.

And hey, John Grisham does the hardest job and gets the big loot to boot. I’m doing it for a mere fraction of a fraction of a fraction (I could probably keep going) of what he makes. Doesn’t that make me some kind of writer-saint or something?

And then I had to wonder about my own work history. I’ve had some fairly random jobs, but is writing the hardest one ever?

(For the record, the following are all actual jobs I’ve held. Full disclosure: I was fired from at least one of them.)

Exhibit A. Hotel Chambermaid. I made beds, cleaned rooms, emptied trash, left chocolate on pillows.

As an erotic romance writer, I mess the sheets up and delve into what wild, forbidden things might have gone on in those beds.

DEFINITELY HARDER.

(Plus, now I have to buy my own chocolate.)

Exhibit B. Breakfast cook. Manned the grill, cooked omelets, made home fries. Sent my customers off with satisfied bellies.

As an erotica writer, I have to do more than fill my readers’ bellies. Other parts of the body and mind must be satisfied too.

MUCH HARDER

Exhibit C. Encyclopedia update researcher. Updated facts, researched news events, wrote articles.

Facts? Hey, make it easy, why don’t you? As a writer, I have to make that shit up!

WAY, WAY HARDER

Exhibit D. TV news promo writer. Wrote teasers for upcoming newscasts. Had to keep people from changing the channel for a full 30 seconds.

HARDER! If I can’t keep people reading my books for more than 30 seconds, I deserve to get fired.

Then again, it wouldn't be the first time.

So John Grisham, I have to agree. Being an author is really, really hard. But I’d still rather do this than anything else I’ve tried.

Of course, I haven’t given plumbing a shot yet.

What about you? What's the hardest job you've done? And the most satisfying?