Help Me, Nora!

My butt is sore – and not in the fun, spank-me-baby way. Nope, it’s a side effect of a condition known as BICHOK. Are you familiar with it?

Butt In Chair Hands On Keyboard.

I first heard about BICHOK from a Nora Roberts interview. It’s her secret recipe for getting books written—you keep your butt in the chair and your hands on the keyboard. I figured, if it works for Nora, maybe it’ll work for me. I always listen to the best of the best.

But Nora never mentioned anything about her butt hurting! Or her neck or shoulders or any other part of her fabulously successful self.

Recently I went in for a massage and got a lecture too. You’re in a SITTING PROFESSION, I was told. You have to take the time for real exercise, the kind that gets your heart rate up – not just fast-walking to the bathroom for pee breaks.

It’s true – I’m in a sitting profession. While my mind and imagination are off doing crazy, wild, occasionally sex-crazed things, my body is slumped in a chair. (You can skip the lecture about my posture. Been there. Ignored that.) And if I keep up with this writing career the way I want, I’ll be slumping for hours and days and years …

So how can I sit and write, and not hurt my body? I’ve already bought myself an ergonomic chair – even a desktop computer because apparently laptops can’t possibly be ergonomic. I know the proper posture, and sometimes I even deploy it. But still. All you authors and readers and anyone who puts in hours of chair time … how do you do it?

Here are some suggestions I’ve gotten:

Write at a standing station.

(That’s not me, by the way. If it were, we could skip the whole exercise portion of the lecture.)

I’m just not sure this would work for me. If you’re standing, you have to pay attention to your body to make sure you don’t fall over. I like to forget everything and lose myself in the world I’m creating.

Sit on an exercise ball.

(Again, not me.)

I may try this one, but again, there’s that whole falling over thing. And I’d be tempted to bounce a lot, which might lead to typos. More than the usual number, that is.

Write in a zero gravity chair.

Looks good for a nap, but I’m not sure how much work I’d get done. It would have to be a lot to pay for the $3,995 price tag (chair and desk combined.)

So I’m open to suggestions. Right now I try to take plenty of breaks, throw in some neck rolls and a yoga practice here and there. Drink lots of water. Water helps everything, right? At the very least, it increases the number of pee breaks.

Anyone else have any wisdom to share? Nora, care to chime in?