Rejection. Hard on the ego. A given for an author. A fact of life for everyone. Allow me to share some life experiences with you for surviving rejection.
Stay unhappy for only a short time.
Sounds impossible, doesn’t it, but it can be done. The trick is to focus on your mood instead of on the event.
My firm went out of business during the dot.com recession and I lost my job. When not focused on the job hunting, I spent the day listening to music, watching comedies, and meeting with friends who consistently cheered me up. I left only a little time to grieve—just enough to get it out of my system, but not so much that I got stuck in it.
I find that negativity dampens my energy level and eventually makes me sick. Depression blinds me to potential resolutions. By keeping my mind alert and my mood elevated, I have the energy to find my way out of the circumstances created by the rejection.
See if there is a lesson in the experience.
It seems to me that sometimes life causes bad things to happen to put us on a new path. Is life telling you that you’re in a rut, that it’s time to try something new? Maybe you should you be writing in a different genre.
In hindsight, those changes often are for the best–different friends, different job, different place to live, different hobbies.
Project onto family, friends and business associates who rejected you or your ideas those qualities you like most about them.
At the time you want to hate them, I’m telling you to do the opposite. I’m suggesting you focus on why you loved them in the first place or wanted to work with them.
What’s my reasoning? The goal is for you to become happy again as quickly as possible. Why wallow in the things that make you unhappy?
Visualize the relationship perfection you’re seeking. See family, friends and co-workers exhibiting the kinds of personality traits you love best. Often expectations are self-fulfilling prophecies. See the best in others and, maybe, that’s how they’ll respond.
Visualize the successful outcome you want.
When I stay focused on what I want to have happen and don’t let the problems of the moment throw me completely off track, I can find the energy to take baby steps away of the mess and toward the solution.
Here’s where you have to be patient—with yourself and with others.
Baby steps take patience. Often, we want to jump right to the solution. I’ve found an immediate solution rarely happens. Instead, I have to work my way out of a problem little by little.
Eventually, I get to a point where I can taste the end goal. Excitement sets in. I’m back to my old self and enjoying life.
Keep getting up when knocked down.
Life taught me there’s always another chance to succeed if you don’t give up. Get up, dust yourself off, get happy and set a new goal. Remember, Abraham Lincoln’s first two businesses went bankrupt. He ran for public office six times and lost. BUT on the seventh, he won the presidency of the United States.
What if he'd given up because of rejection?
Best to you and yours,
JoAnn Smith Ainsworth
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JoAnn Ainsworth’s debut medieval romantic suspense novels received four stars from RT Book Reviews and comments like "this is a keeper" and "I loved it" from other reviewers. JoAnn has a lifetime of achievements, but she's most proud of becoming an author as a senior citizen.
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