Thursday, April 24, 2014

Things I love about Florida

So Master Chef and I left the snow behind earlier this month and headed down to Orlando. After the winter-on-crack that Mother Nature threw at us this year, it was definitely time to get as far away from the cold as we could. Orlando seemed like a safe bet.

Did you know it's possible to almost go into shock when you get on plane when it's 14 degrees out (-10C) and off a plane in 90 degree (32 C) heat plus humidity?

Don't worry, we rallied :) and fell rather easily into a routine of sleeping in, touring around, eating yummy food, soaking in the hot tub, sipping drinks by the pool and enjoying every bit of that sunshine.

There wasn't a part of the trip I didn't love, but here are some highlights:

The Weather 

Six words: I need to move to Florida.

The Kennedy Space Center

This was a ton of fun. The Atlantis Shuttle exhibit is awesome and they have tons of stuff for kids. The lift-off simulator was really cool. Not sure how they can simulate those G-force conditions but it was fun.

The Beach

It's not really a trip to Florida if I don't get at least one day at the beach. Last time we checked out the gulf coast down in Clearwater. This trip we headed down to Daytona and I tried not to panic every time Master Chef grabbed my hand and dragged me closer to the waves. Apparently my argument about standing guard and watching for sharks wasn't convincing enough.

The Slingslot 

The best thing about seeing this ride up close is getting confirmation from your brain that there is nothing on this earth that will make you get on it. No way in hell was I going to be this kid!

The Magic Kingdom

This was my first Disney experience and I loved it despite the fact that there are a few rides/experiences that are out-dated. It's a Small World any one? My ears might bleed if I hear that song again any time in the next ten years. The castle lightshow at the end of the evening and the Wishes Fireworks were amazing. Plus it gave us an excuse to sit down and stop me from contemplating self-amputation. After 12 hours in the park, my feet were DONE. It was also pretty surreal to watch thousands of people all leave the park in one mass exodus when the fireworks were over. My feet are still furious with me for daring to limp my way back to the parking lot that night.

The Harley Davidson Store

I'm thinking of changing Master Chef's nickname to Motorcyle Man. What do you think?

The Wildlife

(They are much bigger in person)
By wildlife I really means the massive black ducks (I have no idea what exactly they were) that were everywhere on the resort where we stayed. And by everywhere I mean they were stalking me. I may have almost tripped over one the first night and they spent the rest of the week keeping an eye on me. On the last night I thought I would make peace and feed them. Of course the little dispensers were empty by that point, leaving me trapped on a Gazebo with the stairs (aka my escape route) blocked by the biggest of the bunch. I can't say I ever wondered what it felt like to be bit by a mutant duck until that very moment. Moments from thinking I might have to yell for Master Chef to come save me, I pulled myself together and possibly hurdle-jumped over the duck.

The Orlando Gun Club

This experience gave me a brand new appreciation for firearms. I hadn't shot any kind of gun before so the raw power and recoil in these weapons was staggering. Master Chef loved the rifle but I didn't have the strength to hold it steady for more than 1.5 seconds. Of course I we had to go with a Zombie target for practice :) and I quickly learned that I would be better off with a machete, maybe even a screwdriver, than a gun in any zombie apocalypse.

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