Baby, You Can Drive My Car

As I write this, it's 9:50 pm and I'm sitting in a creaky, threadbare recliner in the lobby of an old storefront. Two of the three kids are with me - Midkid is watching Doctor Who on a smart phone, while GPS reads Catching Fire. FutureStar is deep in saxophone lesson territory in the room down the hall.

Earlier tonight, I drove FutureStar to pep band, then picked up the other two and delivered them to their music teachers, followed by another trip to the high school to get FutureStar AGAIN, driving from pep band to lessons.

Meanwhile, one of FutureStar's classmates came out of his lesson, walked to his car, and drove home.

I had two reactions - sadness that I didn't get to chat with his mom during lessons, and overwhelming jealousy. Because she didn't have to sit in the recliners of dubious origin waiting for her kid to be done.

And it's not just lessons. Zero hour jazz band. Running to the store. Sports practice. School group projects. So many activities to chauffeur, so little time. 

So while I was a bit wistful when FutureStar started driver's ed a few months ago, I'm now counting down the months until that license is a reality.

Because this time next year, when the kids have music lessons, I can hand over the car keys and say, "drive safely, honey."

And some other parents can take over the slightly scary recliners.

Roughing It

Thanks to the wonders of modern technology, I'm writing this blog post a couple of days ahead of the actual posting date. Which is a very good thing, because at the time this post goes live, I'll be on the last day of a camping trip with the family.

I love camping. From the time I was a little girl going "boat camping" with my parents, to celebrating college graduation with a big group of friends and an even bigger tent at the nearby state park, to heading out with my own children today, camping has always been a part of my life.

When I was younger, camping meant sleeping bags on thin nylon tent flooring, and pit toilets across the teensy island from the only two campsites. Later, we added blow-up air mattresses for sleeping comfort.

But now? You can pry the control for my heated mattresses out of my cold, dead hands.

Yeah, we don't win any prizes for living off the land or becoming one with the elements. We may insist that having a tent trailer counts as real camping because there's *canvas*, but the truth is, we're not much for roughing it.

The most challenging part of this trip? NO WIFI. Which makes me a little nervous, since the last book in my Girls Most Likely To trilogy was released on Monday.

On the other hand, we've got time with the kids, and ocean breezes, and snuggling in sleeping bags while night falls outside the trailer. And the internet will be there when we get back.

We hope. :)

What's your favorite vacation? Do you like roughing it, or is a five star resort more your style? Or something in between?

Best Friends Forever

 

In college I had three roommates. We laughed, fought, studied, helped each other through heartbreaks, and became as close as a family. Now I’m reliving those days, jungle-style. When we left Hawaii a couple of months ago, we left our place in the hands of my 22-year old stepdaughter. Since she collects friends the way others collect shoes, she soon invited three other young women to join her; they’re all singers and guitar or ukulele players and want to make music together. We're back for a few weeks, surrounded by girl power. Even though these girls are living in the jungle, off the grid, existing on rice and coconuts, some things never change.

Clothes sharing. These days, I rarely borrow someone else's clothes. I know what suits me, what fits me, and what doesn't. Back then, it was all about exploration and trying on identities. And that's how it is for these girls. I can't keep track of what belongs to whom. Neither can they. It's a constant stream of "where's the black dress" and "who had my rainbow socks last?" and “that top looks SO much better on you.” 

Endless nights. Day-um, these girls can stay up late! They head out at 10pm, and maybe make it back by dawn. Or decide to sleep wherever they happen to be. Luckily, none of them likes to drink, or I’d worry. But they love to put together crazy outfits and dance and sing and go on night swims and have crazy Hawaiian adventures like hiking across lava fields under the full moon.

Lack of money. There’s always one girl who has a little more than the others, but generally none of them ever has enough. They’re not here to work jobs, they’re here to practice their music and enjoy their freedom before real life swallows them up. But they’re thrifty and careful, for the most part. They’ll rent a movie for $1 at Redbox, but not for $2.50 at the video store. I remember those days of constant worry about every penny – and how great it felt to finally get a job and have steady money coming in.

Relationships. Oh, the hours spent dissecting the tiniest cryptic comment from a boy. So far there’s been a pregnancy scare, several crushes, the angst of a long-distance relationship and a kaleidoscope of rifts among the girls. One doesn’t cook enough; another skimps on the cleaning. One is a more accomplished musician than the others and gets tired of explaining what B flat is. They always patch it up, because they love each other dearly. But it makes for constant drama.

Drama. I mentioned the drama, right? It’s better than a soap opera here. Four wannabe girl singers surviving in a Hawaiian jungle. That would make a good reality show, don’t you think? I’m definitely enjoying my front row seat. But mostly, I'm relieved that I'm grown up now. My old roommates and I are still friends, minus the drama. I save that for my books.

Do you have happy memories from the early, penniless days of your life? Friends who become closer than sisters, no matter where you happened to be?

Play Ball!

I love spring.

Sure, the nicer weather is a happy change, and the impending end of the school year is definitely something to look forward to, but that's not why I look forward to the season every year.

No, it's baseball. And fastpitch. And softball.

What can I say? I'm a fan.

Last week, I was sitting with my parents at the second game of the evening, and I was explaining some ruling to them. My mother looked at me and said, "You spent your entire childhood sitting under a tree reading a book. How in the world did you become an expert?"

I joked that it was a survival mechanism, and to some extent that's true. With three kids on three different teams, I had to eventually pay attention to what was going on or end up hopelessly lost. But it's more than that.

The kids first started playing seven or eight years ago, and those first games were amusing, but nothing to write home about. (Although our oldest, that first year, played almost every position - simultaneously - because the rest of the team was busy drawing in the dirt or chasing butterflies. Hey, it was T-ball. That's almost a prerequisite.)

Then something changed. FutureStar ended up on a team with coaches who knew what they were doing, and the kids started to learn how to actually play. Then MidKid got on the same team. This year, that team is now three teams, and FutureStar is on 14U. Meanwhile, MidKid was recruited for a select team, and has been playing in tournaments all season. And GPS finally (finally!) has a decent coach and is learning how to play the game as well.

It's the leaping catch to snag a foul ball and get that out. It's the charge across the field to hold a runner on third. It's the split-second decision to fire the ball at home plate instead of second. It's the perfect bunt down the third base line, or the line drive into the gap. It's the joy when coach puts them in as the position they really want to play.

So yeah, I love this season. I love watching my kids grow as players, work together with their teammates, battle back from a deficit to pull out a win at the last minute. The defeats are hard, definitely, but they're also teaching my kids to be good sports, to learn from mistakes, to pick themselves back up and try again.

This weekend, we've got two tournaments in two different cities for two of the kids, and a game, practice, and team party for the third. I'm not sure how we're going to get everyone where they need to be when they need to be there, but we'll figure it out.

And I wouldn't have it any other way.

Three Little Words

Only three words. But still they manage to strike terror into my heart.

"What's for dinner?"

Don't get me wrong, I like to cook. Trying out new recipes is fun; whipping up a dish that's been given the thumbs' up from the family in the past is a pleasure. But too often, I find myself glaring at the clock around 4 pm, then rooting around in the fridge in the vain hope that ingredients will magically rearrange themselves on the shelf so I can combine them into something tasty, healthy, and easy to prepare. What's worse is I work from home, so I don't have the handy "I was away at work all day" excuse.

And it can be easy to fall into a rut. There are certain quick and healthy meals I've given up on making, because I've gone to that well one too many times and have burned out the family on it.

That said, there are still a few things working for me in the meal-prep department.

1. The crock pot. Oh, crock pot, how I love thee. Soups, stews, tonight I even made barbeque ribs. There's something so satisfying about tossing a bunch of ingredients in a pot in the morning, ignoring it, and taking out dinner at the end of the day. It's like magic, but with more dishes to clean.

2. Listening to the family. Now, I'm not going to serve soda and pixy sticks at every meal just because the kids would really really like that pretty please. But when a meal is served and I get the, "didn't we just have this?" response, it's time to take it out of rotation, at least for a little while. Conversely, if something gets an enthusiastic YES, it's a good idea to keep those ingredients on hand.

3. Stock the fridge. This is where I fall down most often. The more ingredients I have on hand, the more likely I'll be able to whip something up for dinner at the last minute - and not be tempted by the "let's just go out to dinner" suggestion.

I'll end with one of my favorite quick to prepare crock pot meals. Feel free to add your own in the comments! *whips out notepad and pen, ready to take notes*

Cranberry Chicken

Boneless, skinless chicken breasts (one per person)
1 cup whole berry cranberry sauce
1 packet dry onion soup mix
1/2 cup French dressing

Place chicken breasts in crock pot. (Can be frozen) Mix remaining ingredients together and pour over chicken. Cook on low 6 or so hours. Enjoy.

Seriously, it's so easy it's ridiculous - but incredibly tasty as well. Goes great with mashed potatoes.

Happy cooking!

Keeping Secrets

I have a love/hate relationship with secrets.

Sometimes they can be wonderful, like a surprise for a friend or good news you know you'll be able to share soon.

Sometimes they can be irritating, like having a pen name and not being able to tell anyone in town about good writing news because they all think you've been actively trying to sell a book for ten years now with no success. (Gee, Kate, issues much? LOL)

Sometimes they can be agonizing, because you REALLY REALLY REALLY want to share and you just can't.

I'm pretty good at keeping secrets. (Okay, NNN, stop laughing. I have a point.) Let me rephrase - I'm good at keeping secrets when they aren't mine to share. If it's someone else's news, if it impacts another person, I'll keep my mouth shut as long as necessary. A few years back, we took our kids to Disneyland, and didn't tell them until we pulled up at the hotel. They thought we were on our way to the Grand Canyon (which we did eventually visit, after Disney), and the fact that we were taking the same route we'd used for Disneyland in the past was merely a coincidence. As tough as it was to plan the whole thing without letting anything slip, it was worth it to see the looks on their faces as they realized what was actually going on. It was priceless.

On the other hand, I have been known to preemptively spill my own personal good news to a select few, even when technically I shouldn't, just because it's so hard to keep it all inside. I know, that makes me weak, but I think it's pretty human as well.

So how about you? Are you a never-tell, "loose lips sink ships" type, or do you share a little soon sometimes? What do you think about the art of keeping secrets?

Are We There Yet?

I'm hoping that by the time you read this, I'll be on a sandy beach in Hawaii, soaking up the sun and reading Lucy Monroe's newest paranormal. But thanks to the wonders of scheduled posting, I'm writing this the night before we leave, and life is very different at the moment. Here's how I'll get from here to there:

1. Drop kids at school.
2. Take paperwork to office, where I'm waylaid by three separate people who've been to Hawaii and have suggestions for places to visit and restaurants to explore. I take notes on scraps of paper in my purse that immediately disappear, only to resurface three weeks after I get back.
3. Go to superstore, where I overbuy on everything from first aid supplies to snacks for the plane.
4. Bank.
5. Other office. More travel advice.
6. Another store.
7. Another bank.
8. Home for a minute, where I stuff first aid supplies and sunscreen in large ziploc bags.
9. Haircut.
10. Pick up kids from school.
11. Kids' haircuts.
12. Home. More packing.
13. Dinner.
14. Stare at packing list blindly.
15. Pack some more.
16. Unpack some stuff.
17. Pack more stuff, wondering just how much we really need to bring.
18. Head to airport hotel, with stop at bookstore on the way so everyone has reading material for the plane.
19. Collapse in hotel room after making arrangements for shuttle and wakeup call in the morning.
20. Finally get on flight, trusting that I remembered everything or, failing that, at least my husband and kids.

*collapses* I think at this point, I'll have earned my vacation!

So am I the only one who runs around like a chicken with her head cut off right before vacation? Or does anyone have planning advice to make the process run more smoothly next time around?

Feel the Heat

It's been a mild winter in our neck of the woods this year, with no snowfall and very few days below freezing. (Before all of you on the east coast of the US start giving me the evil glare, last year was a different story.) The weather has actually been pretty mild, the temperature staying in the moderate zone almost every day.

And yet my favorite item of clothing this season has been the flannel-lined jeans I got for Christmas.

It's almost embarrassing how much I love these jeans, especially when the temperature is well above normal and kids are running around in shirt sleeves. I shouldn't need flannel-lined anything in this weather.

But oh, my goodness, do I love them.

I also love fuzzy socks at bedtime, down vests over turtlenecks, and those footwarmer inserts you stick inside your shoes that keep your feet toasty for up to five hours. I'm the one putting on a sweater in the house even when the thermostat is at a perfectly acceptable setting. I openly covet my neighbor's fireplace insert, which boosts the temperature in her living room to an amazing degree. And I'd gleefully spend hours in a hot bath if only I could keep the water from cooling down.

So I suppose it's a good thing I live in an area that isn't known for it's lengthy sub-freezing season. I can only imagine how many layers I'd need in a part of the country that actually has winter weather during the winter season!

How about you? Are you more suited to the cold, or the heat? Or do you prefer a middle-of-the-road climate?

Dutiful

It's the middle of the morning routine, with kids asking for milk and fighting over the fake promotional Disney Visa card that came in the mail on Saturday. I'm trying to keep everyone on track but it's hard.

I've been called for jury duty today.

It's the sixth time this month.

See, in our county, jury duty is for a month long stretch, and there are only four panels of possible jurors each month. So at least once or twice a week since the beginning of January, I've had to trek down to the courthouse, sit in a sequestered room with fifty or so other people, and wait for them to call us into the courtroom.

So far, I haven't been picked. I have, however, gotten a lot of story ideas out of the whole process. (Last week's two-day trial, which took jurors up to and including the person right next to me, sounded fascinating. I was almost disappointed not to be picked!) I'm not getting a lot of writing done this month, because the interruptions from jury duty selection have really thrown off my work and writing schedule. But I'll have a lot of fun stuff to work on once I'm settled back into the routine.

So I'm guessing today is my last time to be called. I'll schlep on down to the courts, notebook in hand, and wait for the process to start all over again. And if I'm lucky, I'll get another story idea out of it!

Starting Fresh

So the children are all tucked in bed, the dishes are done, the holiday decorations are stored away for another year. Lunches are waiting to be made and outfits are laid out for the morning.

Yes, for me, the new year doesn't start until that last bus pulls away from the curb. You can keep your countdown to midnight on December 31st. My New Year's celebration begins today.

Dont' get me wrong, I love the holidays. Having family around, being able to sleep in, celebrating the season with the people I love - all of these things are in the "win" column for me. But for starting fresh, turning a page on the year, I need the structure of my routine, the daily schedule that gets me back on track.

And, of course, the new challenges that go along with it. I don't like to make big Resolutions-with-a-capital-R, with specific end results, because they're so easy to break. This year, I thought I'd look at a few areas of my life that could use a nudge, and list a few ideas of what I'd like to do differently this year. Here they are, ready for the official start today:

1. I will exercise more. (Yes, I know, this is *the* big resolution. Still, it needs to be done!) Even if this means heading to the gym the minute the kids are safely tucked away in the public school system instead of making a hot chocolate and surfing the net for a little down time. I may not be able to find a parking space, but hey, the extra walk won't hurt. And with a trip to Hawaii just three months away, I'd better start working off those holiday pounds NOW.

2. I will stay on top of things. No more letting my e-mail pile up in folders until I have 500 unread messages (sorry, NNN ladies! I'm a bit behind!). No more waiting until the last minute to meet deadlines. This year, I'm going to get it done early.

3. I'm going to organize and prioritize better. Twitter can wait until I finish that book proposal.

4. I'm going to read more. Somehow, this fell by the wayside in '09, and I don't want that to happen this year.

5. I'm going to celebrate the small successes. Sometimes life can be a bit overwhelming, and it's easy to forget to enjoy the positives, especially if they're not huge flashing neon signs. I'll work on recognizing and enjoying them more.

It's not a long list, but it's a good start. How about you? What steps are you taking this year - big or small?

The Ripple Effect

I've been thinking a lot lately about how even the smallest action can have far-reaching consequences and reactions. Recently I was reminded of how sometimes good things can come from something that seems inconsequential initially.

In August, I asked three women if I could interview them for my blog. Though I feature a lot of authors, this was the first time I'd interviewed anyone who was outside the publishing world. But these three had impressed me with their writing and wit on the YouTube channel they maintained, called Eskimo Kiss Project.

EKP, as they're fondly known by viewers, clip and translate certain storylines from a German soap opera called Alles Was Zaehlt. The project began because of Roman and Deniz, a gay pairing that had been featured on the soap a couple years ago. But EKP features other storylines as well, especially after DeRo broke up, bringing the great fun of AWZ to a worldwide audience.

Anyway, they were gracious enough to consent to an interview, I posted it a few days later, and that, I thought, was that. My blog stats went up for a while, I continued to watch the show via YouTube, Roman and Deniz started to get back together, and life went on.

Then came the Great Purge of 2009. :) RTL, the production company that is responsible for AWZ as well as a whole roster of other German shows, went to YouTube and invoked copyright for almost all video clips featuring their shows. Overnight, hundreds of videos disappeared.

The one channel unaffected? Eskimo Kiss Project.

A few weeks later, the three women of EKP went on a well-deserved vacation. When they got back, they shared with their viewers that they'd actually gone to Cologne, Germany, to meet with the actors, directors, and producers of AWZ. Prior to the trip (and the purge), they'd requested a meeting to ask them not to shut down EKP. In preparation, they put together a press kit to show how EKP was helping the show to gain a worldwide audience, and how it was bringing in new viewers and fans all the time.

One of their pieces of evidence? My blog interview.

So something I'd done because I was a fan, something I'd done for fun, had ended up helping spare the channel. The one location I could watch the show and actually understand what was going on. (Sadly, my German knowledge consists of several ways to apologize, "ich liebe dich", and some swear words.) I'm thrilled to have had even a tiny part in their plea to the production company, which was ultimately successful. But when I sent that e-mail asking for an interview, I had no idea it would have an impact beyond a day or two on my blog.

The ripple effect. It doesn't have to be huge or life-changing or even "important". It can just be a small moment turned into something unexpected down the road.

What's your ripple effect story?

Me Time

Yesterday I played hooky from home.

A group of friends who are all participating in National Novel Writing Month had planned a rolling write-in for the day, where we'd hop on the train, write like mad during the trip, then bop around Portland until the train ride home.

As luck would have it, the train goes right through my town. So I packed up my laptop, bought a ticket, and joined them on their adventure.

See, this particular group of women all live in the same area, about an hour and a half from where I live. And while I join in the discussions online, I miss 95% of the get-togethers and write-ins because they're such a distance. (Three hours of driving for one and a half hours of writing is not the most efficient use of limited time.)

So the opportunity to participate in this excursion was too good to pass up.

The train arrived in my town right on time, so I schlepped the laptop on board and started searching for the group. They'd already staked out a table and were working madly as I set up. For the next hour-plus the only sound at the table was the clatter of keyboards being used, interspersed with brief comments like, "What's another word for (blank)?" or "I really, really like this character."

Once in Portland we stowed the laptops and headed downtown for lunch and conversation, followed by a visit to Voodoo Donuts. (An amazing, mouthwatering menu. Highly recommended!)

And then, mecca.

Set four writers loose in the city block that is Powell's Books for an hour or two? Brilliant.

Then we toasted our day at a little pub that was walking distance from the train station before settling in for the writing journey home.

It's been a long time since I did something like this - just taken time for me, spending the day with friends, really focusing on the writing. And it's fair to say that I enjoyed every minute of it. I was with a great group of people doing things I really love to do - eat, write, and buy books. :) (And donuts, of course.)

And though it'll be a while before I can fit another day like this into my busy schedule, I know how important it is to do that from time to time. Because taking a day just to have fun and focus on me helps me be a better mom, wife, employee, and, yes, writer.

It's all about balance. And I'm so glad I had yesterday to remind me of that.

If you had a free day just for you, what would be on your agenda? How do you carve out "Me Time" from your busy life?