Showing posts with label We Wish You a Naughty Christmas. Show all posts
Showing posts with label We Wish You a Naughty Christmas. Show all posts

Thursday, December 19, 2013

Sweater Season: Waffling In a Winter Wonderland

Don't forget that all comments here get entered to win your very own ugly sweater kit! You can also comment over on our Sweater Season event page for a chance to win, or hey, post an ugly sweater pic there for a chance to win a $50 gift card!

Cal Toleffson and Docia Kent are the hero and heroine of Venus In Blue Jeans, Konigsburg, Texas #1

Docia Kent considered the landscape they were passing through once again. Gray. Gray clouds, gray mist, gray fence posts, gray gravel. Even the snow was gray, although that could have been the effect of the late afternoon light. Or the lack of it. Iowa in December was the most depressing place she’d ever seen. The sun hadn’t shone once since they’d come back to Cal’s parents’ house for Christmas. For all she knew, the sun never shone in Iowa.

That was, of course, grossly unfair. There were cloudy days in Texas too. Lots of them. There was, however, no snow in Konigsburg.

She snuggled more deeply into her down coat. Cal had offered to turn up the heater in the SUV, but she preferred to keep her coat on—less of a nasty shock when she stepped outside into the arctic wastes that surrounded Cal’s boyhood home.

Assuming they ever found said arctic wastes again. At the moment they seemed to be lost. “Calthorpe, I swear I’ve seen that tree before. Are we going in circles?”

Cal sighed, keeping his gaze fixed on the miles of bumpy gravel road ahead. “We are not going in circles. You have not seen that same tree. A very similar tree maybe, but not that exact same tree.”

Docia sighed too. She didn’t really care whether it was the same desolate black tree or a different desolate black tree. She just wanted to stop seeing desolate black trees. At this point, she’d really like to see a nopal cactus. Or possibly a live oak. Anything that would signal they were back in the Texas Hill Country rather than stumbling through the backest part of back country Iowa.

“Where are we going?” she asked for what was probably the fifteenth time.

“I’ll tell you when we get there.” He still hadn’t taken his gaze off the horizon.

The fact that Cal was being weird only added to her general sense of dislocation. Dislocation? Please. You’re homesick. Amazingly enough, that was true. She wanted Texas. She wanted her bookstore. She wanted, God help her, Konigsburg.

And she wanted Cal. Only she wanted the Cal she had in Texas. The sweet, funny, Paul Bunyan type veterinarian. The man she lived with. The man she might, someday, marry. Maybe. Possibly. Probably.

She tried to ignore the clenching in her stomach. She loved him. She knew it. But love and marriage didn’t exactly work out as planned in the Kent family. Her daddy and mama loved each other and that hadn’t stopped Daddy from being photographed with Miss Texas in his lap. And her own track record wasn’t all that great when it came to romance. Maybe Cal wasn’t like Donnie Branscombe, her former fiancé who’d been a lot more interested in her daddy’s bank balance than in Docia’s charms. But that didn’t mean marriage was a great idea. Living together worked just fine. Didn’t it?

Cal turned the SUV onto an even bumpier track. Had he deliberately sought out the worst roads in Iowa? Or was this supposed to be an example of Midwestern road maintenance?

The Iowa Cal made her nervous. He seemed to have transformed overnight from the sweet funny lover she was used to into this silent, serious über-alpha.

The SUV hit a stretch of washboard followed by a particularly vicious pothole. Docia closed her eyes. This was so not the way she wanted to spend Christmas Eve.

####

Cal piloted the SUV through the worst of the road, pulling to a stop at the top of the rise. The view across the valley was impressive normally. Grant Wood country. Of course right now the valley was choked with white winter fog, so the view wasn’t exactly at its best.

Still, he’d chosen the spot carefully, after a lot of thought. He might have chosen wrong—in fact that was looking more and more likely given Docia’s increasingly glum silence over the last half hour. But he was committed. This was where he was going to do it.

Docia squinted at the landscape outside the SUV. “What’s this?”

He took a deep breath. “The Toleffson family farm. Or what’s left of it.” The remains of the barn glimmered through the mist, along with a venerable elm tree.

She looked around with a little more animation than she’d shown for the past twenty minutes. “No kidding? This is your family farm? Did you come here when you were a kid?”

“Just to hunt for mushrooms. Nobody’s lived here for a couple of generations. We’ve got people who lease the fields.”

Docia frowned. “And you brought me here?”

He nodded. “Normally, it’s a really nice place. You can see into the next county—lots of trees and meadows. On a good day, it’s something.”

She glanced around at the billowing fog that covered any hint of a view. “Oh.”

“I was hoping we could get above the fog. I guess we can’t.”

“Doesn’t look like it.”

Cal’s jaw set. He could always turn around and head back to the highway. Count it as a failed side trip. Except he wouldn’t do that. He’d been planning this trip for a couple of months. This was it. Do it, Calthorpe.

“It’s really interesting.” Docia gave him a smile that was breathtaking in its insincerity.

“I wanted to bring you here when it was beautiful, but even like this it’s a place that means something to me. It’s where the family came from. If I’ve got any roots, they’re here.” He dug his fingers into his pocket to pull out the box. It had been biting into his thigh every time they hit a bump. At least, for better or worse, he’d have it out now.

Docia’s eyes widened to saucers. She dived toward the backseat.

For a moment, he thought she was going to hide back there, which was probably the most horrifying reaction to his marriage proposal he could imagine, although vomiting would have been close. But then she emerged with a large gift-wrapped package in her hands.

“I want to give this to you now,” she stammered. “I can’t wait anymore. Merry Christmas, sweetheart!” She thrust the package in his direction.

Cal narrowed his eyes. They weren’t opening presents. He was proposing marriage. He was still going to propose marriage, but it appeared he was opening a present first. He ripped the wrapping paper off, lifting the lid of the box inside.

To reveal a sweater. Sort of dingy gray with a large white blob in the center. It reminded him slightly of the fog.

Docia was smiling relentlessly, but her eyes were nervous all of a sudden. “Do you like it?”

“Sure,” he said, stretching his lips in his own version of an insincere smile. He studied the white blob. There seemed to be a small black dot at the upper corner. “It’s a sheep, right?” Or an amoeba involved in arcane sexual activity. But calling it a sheep seemed safe.

Docia’s brow furrowed as she studied the sweater. “Maybe.”

“Maybe?” Cal allowed himself a slight frown of his own. “You’re not sure?”

“This is the first time I’ve seen it. It’s one of Carly Obermeier’s handmade sweaters. She spins and dyes the yarn herself. She said she’d do a Christmas one. I didn’t get to see it before we left Texas. She wrapped it for me.”

He stared back at the sweater again. It really was amazingly ugly. On the other hand… “I’ll try it on.”

“You don’t have to,” she began.

He shrugged. “I want to. I want to wear it.”

He shrugged out of his jacket, then unbuttoned his flannel shirt. Given that Docia liked having the heater turned to low, it was going to get chilly in here as soon as he took it off. But maybe he needed to cool down. It seemed like Docia had.

He pulled on the sweater, ignoring the numb feeling in his gut.

Docia narrowed her eyes. “It fits. Sort of.”

“It’s fine.” He moved his arms, making sure he wouldn’t rip out the sleeves if he did. The fit seemed a bit snug. “It feels good.” It did, actually. Very soft wool.

Docia’s eyes stayed narrow. Then, to his horror, they glistened with tears. “It’s awful. I’m sorry. I thought it would be so cool. And it’s just horrible.”

Cal shook his head quickly. “It’s not horrible. It’s unusual. I like it. Come on, Dosh. It’s fine.” Do not cry. Jesus, do not cry!

“I just wanted to give you something…special,” she sniffled. “It’s our first Christmas.”

“It is.” He nodded. “I like it, really. It’s special. It’s great.”

“It isn’t.” Her lower lip wobbled.

“It is.” This time he said it more firmly. “You gave it to me. I will love anything you give me because it comes from you. I love you, Dosh.”

Unfortunately, this statement only seemed to make her tears stream down faster. “Oh, geez, Cal. I just…oh, geez.”

He managed to put his arms around her, although the center console was in the way. He probably should have considered that when he decided to propose at the old home place. Doing anything more than kissing her was going to require athletic ability he didn’t have.

He took a deep breath. Might as well go for it. He pulled the box out of his pocket, opening it quickly. “This is my present for you.”

####

Docia stared down at the diamond. It wasn’t very big—it would probably fit as a guard stone to her mama’s current diamond. Donnie Branscombe had offered her one roughly three times that size when he’d proposed. But big wasn’t the point. At least as far as diamonds went.

“It’s my great great grandmother’s,” Cal said slowly. “She rode a wagon to Iowa from Ohio to marry my great great grandpa. The ring was pretty hot stuff then. He bought it to show her how successful he was.” Cal gestured toward the mist-covered landscape. “This place belonged to him. It was a hell of a farm in its day. He brought her up here to show her the place when he gave her the ring.”

Docia stared fixedly at the diamond. Her heart was beating so hard she was afraid she might be having a coronary. “It’s gorgeous.”

He shrugged. “It’s not, really. The setting is nice, but the diamond’s too small. It’s just a family ring. But I hope you’ll wear it anyway.”

She took a deep breath, trying not to pant. Her pulse was still thundering in her ears. This is it, kid. Fold or play. Fold or play.

She glanced at Cal. At the hideous gray sweater. The color of the snow. The white blob looked like a mashed potato catastrophe. But he was wearing it. A little grimly, but he was wearing it. Oh for Pete’s sake, of course you’ll marry him. Why did you make him wait so long, you dumbass?

She picked up the ring and handed it to him. “You’re supposed to put it on my finger.”

He blinked. “Huh?”

“When you ask a girl to marry you, you’re supposed to put the ring on her finger.” His gaze caught hers. She couldn’t have looked away if she’d tried.

After a moment, he nodded slowly, taking the ring out of its ancient box. “I guess I am.” Fortunately for them both, it slid on easily. The sweater represented enough comedy for now. “So you’re okay with this?” He raised an eyebrow.

She stared back at him, eyes wide. “You gave it to me. I will love anything you give me because it comes from you. I love you, Cal.”

His lips were trembling. “That sounds a little like you’re equating our marriage to a Christmas sweater.”

“Christ no!” Docia blinked, teetering between hysterical giggles or hysterical sobs. Giggles won. She rested her forehead on Cal’s shoulder feeling him snort with suppressed snickers. Finally, she caught her breath. “It’s an awful sweater.”

He leaned back, grinning. “I will wear it proudly. And I will cherish it as a memory of this day.”

“And after today you will never put it on again,” she finished.

He raised an eyebrow. “I won’t?”

“You won’t.” She held her hand out, studying the ring. “We’ve got a much better thing to cherish.”

He glanced down at the sweater again. “I don’t know, Dosh. I kind of like it. It grows on you.”

“So does Spanish moss if you sit still long enough. That doesn’t mean you have to wear it.”

He gave her one more fond smile, then put the car in gear. “It’s better than Spanish moss.”

“Not by much.” She gazed at the billowing fog in front of her. “We’ll have to come back here when the weather’s better.”

“And I’ll wear the sweater.” He nodded. “It goes with the place.”

“Maybe.” Docia watched the fog form and dissipate as they drove back down the miserable road. She was thinking August would be a good time for a revisit. If her hubs wanted to wear a wool sweater then, it would be up to him. She held up her hand to study the ring again.

On the other hand, maybe she could order some moths from Amazon.

To read more about Cal and Docia's wedding, see Wedding Bell Blues, Konigsburg, Texas #2

Wednesday, December 18, 2013

Away For Christmas by Kate Davies

Don't forget that all comments here get entered to win your very own ugly sweater kit! You can also comment over on our Sweater Season event page for a chance to win, or hey, post an ugly sweater pic there for a chance to win a $50 gift card! This story features characters from Kate Davies' "Home For Christmas".


Sam woke in an unfamiliar bed.

She blinked the sleep from her eyes, looking around at the room. 
Athletic pennants hung on the walls, and a poster of some female movie star who’d been popular almost a decade ago. The comforter on the bed was blue and red plaid, with…was this a race car pillow under her head?

Shifting on the mattress, she almost sighed in relief at the sight of the man sleeping next to her. They were at Robert’s parents’ house for the holidays, and this was his childhood bedroom.

Emphasis on child.

My God, they hadn’t changed a thing since he’d moved out, apparently. Was that a teddy bear on the desk under the window?

She fought a losing battle against the tug at her heartstrings. Okay, yeah, that was kind of adorable.

Much like the man himself.

She turned her head on the pillow and watched as he slowly came awake. “Morning,” he said with a raspy voice, leaning forward to kiss her.

“Merry Christmas,” she replied, snuggling closer.

“Oh, is that what today is?” Robert stretched and wrapped an arm around her shoulders. “Never would have known.”

“It better be. Otherwise I’d have to be giving you so much crap about this room.”

“Why would you give me crap about this room?” He almost looked hurt, but she could see the smile lurking underneath the puppy dog facial expression. “It’s a part of me. It’s my history.”

“Seriously?” She waved a hand at the décor. “It looks like your childhood threw up in here. Haven’t your parents ever heard of redecorating?”

“Don’t diss the room.” He loomed over her in a failed attempt to look threatening. “These are my most special possessions.”

She glanced over his shoulder dubiously. “I worry about your priorities, Rob. I mean, really. A Natalie Portman poster?”

“I had a crush on Amidala. Sue me.”

She shook her head and rested it against his shoulder. “You are such a geek.”

“And you love me anyway.”

It was true. She did. Enough to ditch the family holiday tradition and join his.

Not that there had been much of a family holiday to ditch, this year. 
It was the second Christmas after her dad had passed away, and for some reason her mom had gone completely around the bend and booked a cruise to the Caribbean for Christmas.

Without telling her.

Samantha sighed and snuggled in closer to Rob, who wrapped his arm around her shoulders and gave her a squeeze. Who knew what was going on with her mom. Midlife crisis or something. At least Ethan was there to keep an eye on her.

In some ways, it was a little easier, she had to admit. Finding out the house wasn’t even decorated, and that her mom wasn’t going to be sitting around home moping about Sam’s absence, took away a little of the guilt she felt about not being home for Christmas. She could spend the holiday with Robert’s family with a clear conscience.

But not if they didn’t get out of this bed soon.

"You seriously need to give this bedroom an overhaul," she said quietly, bit wanting to wake up the rest of the family. "I feel like a total perv right now."

"My very own cougar," Robert teased. "Just what I asked Santa to bring me."

“I’m one month older than you.”

“Emphasis on older.”

She rolled her eyes. “We should get up," Samantha said, flinging 
back the covers.

"I have a better idea," he murmured, slipping one hand up her side and curving around to cup her breast.

Sam stared at him in disbelief. "In your parents' house? Are you insane?"

"Live dangerously," he teased. Both with his words, and his very talented fingertips.

"Oh, no," she said, scrambling out of bed and backing away from him. "I am a guest in this house. Your family barely knows me. I am not debauching their baby boy under their roof. Let alone on Christmas morning!"

He got out of bed, too, stretching his arms over his head. "You're no fun."

"I'm plenty of fun." She grabbed her robe out of her open suitcase. 

"Just not with a potential audience just a door away."

"Guess I have to steal you away for a driving tour of the town later," he said. "We can make out in the car before dinner."

"Excellent plan." She gave him a smacking kiss on the lips and headed towed the door. "Now what do you say we head downstairs and wish everyone a merry Christmas?"

              *** 

“Merry Christmas!” Robert’s mom pressed a mug of coffee into one of Samantha’s hands and tugged her into the family room with the other. “Come on, you two, it’s time to open presents.”

Samantha looked over her shoulder at Robert and mouthed, before breakfast?

He rolled his eyes at her.

She pasted on a smile and allowed herself to be towed over to the couch by the tree. She just had to remember that other families had different traditions. Just because she grew up with stockings-first before breakfast and presents only once the dishes were done didn’t mean everyone did things the same way.

And if she was going to be with Robert long-term, she’d better start getting used to compromising on traditions.

He sat down next to her and wrapped his arm around her shoulder, sipping from his own mug. Her pulse sped up a little, just like it always did when he was around.

Even after a year together, she still got butterflies.

And she had a feeling that twenty years from now, it would still be the same.

She looked around the room at the rest of Robert’s family. His dad, in the easy chair by the fireplace. His younger sister, home from college, sitting on the floor next to the coffee table. His grandmother was on the love seat, Ginger the golden retriever resting her head in the older woman’s lap. And his mom, a Santa hat perched on her curls, sorting through presents under the tree.

The stockings were still on the mantel, unwrapped items peeking out the tops.

Unwrapped? Who doesn’t wrap their stocking gifts?

Samantha glanced at Robert. He crossed his eyes at her, startling a snort of laughter out of her.

Okay. She was being ridiculous. And even without saying anything to him, he could tell.

Thank God he loved her, anyway.

***

Mounds of wrapping paper littered the floor in front of the tree, boxes stacked next to their owners around the room. Sam leaned into Robert, sipping at her coffee, thankful that she’d managed to navigate their first Christmas together without any mishaps. His parents liked the presents she’d brought, and the electric kettle they’d given her was exactly the model she’d been coveting for months. Robert seemed thrilled with the e-reader she’d bought for him, and had already downloaded half a dozen books. And she loved the necklace he’d given her.

All in all, a successful Christmas morning.

She leaned over and started gathering up the wrapping paper and bows. If the heavenly scents coming from the kitchen were any indication, the coffee cake in the oven was almost done. Her mouth watered at the scent of cinnamon.

“Oh, I almost forgot,” Robert’s mother said suddenly, popping up from her seat by the fireplace. “One last present.”

She dug through the mess and pulled out a wrapped box, which had been half-hidden by the lower branches of the Christmas tree. 

Handing it to Samantha, she said, “For you, dear.”

Sam looked at her, puzzled. “I don’t…”

“Go on, open it,” the woman urged.

Confused, Sam peeled back the wrapping paper and lifted the top of the box.

“Grandma knitted it just for you,” Robert’s mother said with a beaming smile.

“Uh, thanks,” Samantha said, slowly lifting the monstrosity out of the box. It was huge, easily twice as big as what she normally wore. Stripes of varying widths circled the sweater, in just about every shade of red and green possible. And smack dab on the front was a lopsided, tilted gingerbread man, one leg missing, with the phrase “EAT ME” emblazoned above his head.

It was possibly the most hideous – and hideously inappropriate – garment she had ever seen.

Sam looked around. Everyone was gazing at her expectantly, leaning forward in their seats to see what her reaction would be. Even Robert was looking at her like this was perfectly normal.

“It’s – wonderful,” she said haltingly, clutching the sweater in both hands. “I can tell so much work went into it.”

“Months of knitting,” Robert’s grandmother said helpfully. “Had to start early, thanks to my arthritis.”

“Well!” Sam nodded and got to her feet. “Work like that should be celebrated. Which is why I’m going to go change into it right now.”

She turned to go, sweater held tight to her chest, when peals of laughter made her turn around again.

Everyone was laughing. Even Robert, the bastard, was wiping tears of mirth away.

“I don’t understand,” she said.

Then Robert’s mom came forward and gave her a hug. 

“Congratulations.”

“I – what?”

Robert stood up and took her hand, shoulders still shaking with laughter. “This is our family white elephant gift, Sam. Every year it’s passed along to someone else, who’s stuck with it until the following Christmas. So, congrats, honey. You get to give it a good home until next December.”

“Next December, huh?” She smiled at him. “Think I’m going to be around that long, do you?”

“I’m counting on it.”

She tugged him down to sit next to her again. “And I can give this sweater to anyone I want, right?”

“As long as they’re family.”

Family. She looked around the room, warmed by the sight of all those smiles directed at the two of them. “Lots of choices, then.”

He nodded.

“In the meantime, what am I supposed to do with this?”

Robert’s grandmother leaned forward. “Put it in a closet, probably. Just don’t forget where you left it.”

“So I don’t have to wear it?”

“No, you don’t have to wear it.”

"Oh, thank God,” she said with a sigh of relief. “That thing is seriously ugly.”

Robert smiled.

Her heart flipped over, like it did every time he smiled at her.

“Then how about something beautiful to take its place?”

She tilted her head, confused, as he leaned over the side of the couch and picked up one more package.

It was small. And velvet. And she felt tears welling up as he opened the lid.

“Samantha Jane, will you marry me?”

She was in his arms before he could finish the sentence. Nodding fiercely, she tucked her head into the curve between his shoulder and neck and let the tears flow. Around them, she could hear exclamations and cheers.

He put his lips next to her ear and whispered, “Let’s give your mom a call.”

Yes. He knew her so well – knew that she’d want to share this with her family as well as his. With a grin, she pulled back and kissed him firmly on the lips. “And maybe next year, we can all spend the holidays together.”

****

To find out about Samantha's mom Sophia, and her adventures with Ethan on their Christmas cruise, check out Home For Christmas, available from Samhain Publishing.



For more information about this event, check out last Friday's post or visit us on Facebook.


 \

Leave a comment here to be entered to win your very own ugly sweater kit!

Monday, December 16, 2013

The Receptionist Who Saved Christmas by Juniper Bell


Don't forget that all comments here get entered to win your very own ugly sweater kit! You can also comment over on our Sweater Season event page for a chance to win, or hey, post an ugly sweater pic there for a chance to win a $50 gift card! This story features characters from Juniper Bell's "The Receptionist" series.


As soon as I walked into the kitchenette at Cowell & Dirk, I knew the Christmas spirit had decided to take a pass on our little firm. It was probably lying unconscious in a Low-Life back alley, traumatized by the same icy blue stare Ethan Cowell was aiming at the mug in his hand.

What the bloody hell is in my coffee?

That's egg nog, I chirped.

He dumped it in the sink. Fix it.

Whats wrong with a little holiday cheer? Its perfectly harmless. I watched the thick creamy liquid swirl down the drain, along with all my hopes for the first normal Christmas in my twenty-three years of life. I dont want to go into detail, in case I ruin your holiday spirit. Suffice it to say that in the house where I grew up, Christmas meant an extra case of rum for the grownups, extra dodging of speedily emptied bottles for me.

Got a problem with egg nog, Ethan? Simon, my green-eyed boss number two, strolled into the kitchen, his green-and-red Christmas tree tie bringing joy to my heart. Or is it anything holiday-related in general?

This is a place of business, and business only, Ethan declared. Simon and I looked at each other and started cracking up.

Arent you several hundred screaming orgasms late with that announcement? Simon asked mildly.

I could have sworn I saw Ethan blush, except that such a thing would be impossible for that sexy former British undercover agent. Besides, after all the things wed done together since Id taken the position of receptionist, even Id have trouble summoning a blush.

A little seasonal celebrating wont hurt anyone. Will it, Dana? Simon winked at me.

I tried to smile. Since I was dressed as one of Santas naughtiest helpers, I was starting to feel a little stupid. The suspenders that held up my elf tutu barely covered my nipples. Elves were supposed to wear tutus made of tinsel, right? With red garters under them? Yeah, thats what I thought. 

I didnt sign off on any form of holiday celebration, other than the usual days off and Christmas bonus. Ethan checked the coffee pot carefully, then poured himself another cup.

Since last years Christmas bonus had been more of a boner, and plenty to go around, I hadnt minded. But this year I was yearning for something more traditional, I suppose.

I tried again. I thought we could just have a little office holiday party. Every other company on our floor is having one. Maybe a little gift exchange, a cookie swap …”
Perhaps luckily for me, I was interrupted by the sound of heavenly voices wafting from the reception area.

What the devil

I didnt wait to hear what Ethan was about to say. I threw on a shawl printed with snowmen (hopefully no one would notice their inappropriately placed carrots) and ran to my desk. The Dental Miracles crew from down the hall stood before my desk, merrily singing Deck the Halls with Boughs of Holly.

I felt like a little kid, so excited I bounced up and down in my green felt stiletto boots. Carolers! Actual carolers! If anyone had dared to sing Christmas carols in my old hood, theyd get jumped by the end of the first block.

Fa-la-la-la-LA! They ended with an awkward squawk and started backing out of the foyer, staring past my shoulder as if theyd spotted Lord Voldemort.
Hardly a surprise to see Ethan advancing menacingly into the room, with Simon close behind.

Now Ethan, was that necessary? Simon was complaining. Sure, theyre a bit out of tune, but I rather liked their rendition.

But Ethan had stopped dead when something brushed against his forehead. I winced.

Its mistletoe. To prove it, I dashed toward him, intending to kiss him. At the last minute, I veered past him and threw myself at Simon. In this mood, Ethan was simply too terrifying. Simon caught me against him and we plunged into a deep kiss, so deep I almost didnt notice the garter snapping against the back of my thigh. When I felt heat radiating behind me and realized that Ethans big, rough hand was on my ass, a thrill ran up my spine. Was I about to become an Elf sandwich, with a garnish of mistletoe? My body went liquid and languid, spreading across Simons like brandy sauce over plum pudding.

But no. Ethan simply reached over my head and snatched the mistletoe from its string.

No mistletoe. No Christmas cookies. No carols. And I hope you brought some other clothes to work, because Id rather have you work buck naked than wear that elf-freak costume.

Now, Im not a cryer. I learned early on to build a shell around me, one that not even flying bottles of Scotch could shatter. Ethan and Simon had found a way inside that shell with their hot-as-sin training. But our three-way relationship had gone way past sex, and Id lost my heart to both of them.

So maybe thats why I burst into tears when Ethan said that. With the piece of mistletoe still gripped in his fist, he froze.

Shes crying. You made her cry, Simon said accusingly. Damn it, Cowell, do you have to be such a Scrooge?

I shook my head. Not a Scrooge. Hes a Gr-Grinch.

Now they were both staring at me. Whats the bloody difference? Ethan demanded.

Scrooge doesnt care about Christmas because all he cares about is money. But the Grinch the Grinch stole Christmas! He actually stole it.

Ethan looked at the mistletoe in his hand, like a thief caught in the act. When did you become so well-versed in Christmas stories?

I swiped at the tears dripping down to my chin. Id never even told Brandy, my best friend, about my secret weakness. Ive seen all the TV specials. Ive read all the books. I know all the carols by heart.

For fucks sake, why?

Because I love Christmas. Since they were still staring at me, I explained. Its like the whole world turns into playtime. Trees show up, like magic, even in my crappy neighborhood. Even if theyre plastic and covered in fake snow, at least theyre tree-shaped. I used to take the subway to Fifth Avenue and look at the window displays and the gigantic Christmas tree at Rockefeller Center. And all of a sudden theres elves and gingerbread men and reindeer everywhere.

He frowned. Reindeer? In Low-Life, Long Island?

No, no. I gestured impatiently. On TV. Its not like I ever had Christmas in real life. But everyone in the Christmas ads on TV was always so happy and smiling. Its like the whole world is a snow globe filled with snowflakes.

A snow globe, Ethan said blankly.

Yes, except I wasnt ever in the snow globe. I was outside, looking in at all the hot buttered rum and twinkle lights on the Christmas trees. And the dorky sweaters. I love those sweaters, like Bill Cosby wore? On Christmas, no one minds looking goofy. I love it all. The mistletoe and the egg nog and the …” I broke off, because I knew hed never get it. Forget it. I have work to do, guys.

Just in time, the days mail arrived. I changed my outfit, and everyone got back to work.

Honestly, Dana, I scolded myself. You should know better than to hallucinate like that. Christmas is for normal people. Be happy with your dream job and your beloved Ethan and Simon. Who could ask for anything more, really?

After a couple hours of that feedback loop, Id decided that Christmas was a big fat fraud, like a mall Santa whos really a moonlighting insurance salesman beneath the suit. I was never, ever going to fall for a Christmas ad again. Id return the special mistletoe Id ordered online, and donate the egg nog to the homeless guys on my corner.

Town cars here. Simon and Ethan breezed out of the inner office, pulling on their overcoats. Lets go.

Where ?

Meeting.

I suppressed my grumbles and grabbed my stuff, then joined them in the Town Car. They immediately started talking business, and I zoned out. I didnt even realize we were in Manhattan until we pulled up in front of one of those beautiful department stores that are like palaces. Bergdorf Goodmans, I saw with a sigh. A new account for the firm?

Ethan and Simon practically dragged me behind them into the store. I barely got a chance to check out the window display, which featured a lovely Christmas tableau of a family of reindeer in Christmas apparel. Behind the glass, gingerbread men capered in the piles of fake snow, and giant crystal snowflakes dangled overhead. The old Dana of a few hours ago would have loved it. But now I was officially immune to all that.

While Simon and Ethan took care of business, I loitered in the shoe department, eyeing the Manolos. I overheard only a few words from the conversation they were having with the Bergdorfs manager.  

But those arent for sale …” the man in horn-rimmed glasses was saying.

Any price you set, Ethan said in that voice that made people do what he wanted at least naked people. Name it.

We cant sell those. Theyre too ugly. Theyre meant to be a joke.

Eye of the beholder, my man. I want them.

I wondered idly what they could possibly be talking about, and then the manager was hurrying toward the front of the store, followed by Simon and Ethan. I lagged behind, accosted by a perfume saleswoman in a Santa hat. She surrounded me with a cloud of ylang-ylang and by the time I fought free, I was blinking and stumbling toward my bosses.

Thats when I realized the perfume must have altered my vision. Ethan, Simon and the manager were standing inside the display window stripping the poor reindeer family. Ethan swung around to face me as he pulled on the ugliest sweater Id ever seen on his body. It was blood-red with a patchwork of sickly, pale green, blighted Christmas trees. Little bulbs were knitted into the fabric, and they flashed on and off in a way that made my perfume-reddened eyes weep.

For relief, I looked at Simon. His sweater, which he was just buttoning, was even worse. A cardigan in deep forest green, it had one team of reindeer on the right and another on the left, headed toward each other as if about to collide in the middle of his chest. Oh, and they were all wearing sunglasses. And seemed to have mice holding their reins.

Merry Christmas, my love, said Ethan. If Id known this meant so much to you, I would have planned ahead.

These sweaters are dorky enough for you, right? Simon asked when I didnt say anything. Couldnt say anything. I wanted to laugh and cry and roll around with them in the fake snow cushioning the floor of the display window.

Lets not forget this one. Ethan beckoned me inside the window and handed me a sweater.

And then I really did lose it. My sweater out-dorked them all, with its pattern of neon crocheted snow globes across a stark black background. Was it meant to be a starry night sky? The tar pits of hell? Hard to tell.

Numbly, I dropped my coat and pulled on the sweater. There we stood, me and my two sexy gods, knee deep in fake snow, wearing three of the ugliest sweaters ever seen outside of a Walmart. I love you guys so much. I cant believe youd do this for me.

Nothing says love like an ugly Christmas sweater, said Ethan.

We started to laugh. We laughed so hard we kicked up some of the snow, which whirled around us in a soft little blizzard.

And thats how I found myself, just as Id always dreamed, inside a Christmas snow globe, complete with ugly sweaters and naked reindeer. Best. Christmas. Ever.

Dana, Ethan and Simon can normally be found in The Receptionist series from Samhain Publishing. http://JuniperBell.com

For more information about this event, check out last Friday's post or visit us on Facebook.


 \

Leave a comment here to be entered to win your very own ugly sweater kit!

Saturday, December 14, 2013

Sweater Season ~ Week Two Line-Up

 Our Sweater Season event is in full swing! Between now and December 23rd we’re inviting all of you to search out the best of the worst—all the ugliest, naughtiest, funkiest Xmas sweaters you can find and post them on our event page. 
 
 your efforts, on Christmas Eve, we’ll be awarding one of you a $50 gift certificate. But that’s not all! There will be pics of hot guys—with or without their sweaters, there will be jokes, we may even throw in a recipe or two. AND, even if you don’t have a sweater to post, you won’t be left out of the fun. We’ll also be awarding a DIY Christmas sweater kit, like this one here...

 ...to two lucky commenters—one chosen from blog comments, one from the Facebook event page.
Finally, we’ve each written an ode, an homage, a paean to the lowly Xmas sweater…or, in a couple of cases, the lowly XXXmas sweater. We’ve each chosen a couple from one of our published books (or a soon to be published book), given them a sweater and set them loose in a winter wonderland of gloriously naughty possibilities. 
Here’s the line-up for week #2:

Monday, December 16th


Juniper Bell presents: The Receptionist who Saved Christmas

How far will this naughty threesome go to bring back the Christmas spirit?
Starring: Dana, Ethan and Simon from The Receptionist series

Wednesday, December 18th


Kate Davies presents: Away for Christmas



With her mom on a holiday cruise, Samantha's spending her first Christmas with Robert's family. Will she survive a whole new set of traditions?


Starring: Sophia's daughter Samantha (and her boyfriend) from Home for Christmas. 

Thursday, December 19th


Meg Benjamin presents: Waffling in a Winter Wonderland

What’s a better Christmas gift than Cal’s engagement ring? Well, there’s Docia’s Christmas sweater. 

Starring: Cal and Docia from Venus in Blue Jeans  (Konigsburg, Texas series)   


Friday, December 20th


Kinsey Holley presents: I'll Be Home for Christmas (And I Wish All These People in My House Were Too)

Ally Kendall McDougall has invited her Texas relatives to join her in Colorado as she prepares to celebrate her second Christmas with Cade, Becca and the pack. 

Starring: Ally and Cade from Yours Mine and Howls (Werewolves in Love series)

Monday, December 23rd


Skylar Kade presents: Merry XXXmas
When Gabe and Hope head to Maison Domine the weekend before Christmas, the last thing they expect is to get snowed in...

Starring: Gabe and Hope from His Only Hope (The Maison Chronicles)

Full line-up, contest rules and information can be found here: http://ninenaughtynovelists.blogspot.com/2013/12/the-days-are-getting-colder.html

Friday, December 13, 2013

Tidings of Comfort & Schnapps by Erin Nicholas

Sweater Season continues! Along with the awesomely ugly sweaters on Facebook, we're sharing short stories starring some of our already-have-books characters that you may have met and fallen for in the past! :)

Cody Madsen and Olivia Dixon are actually the stars of my *upcoming* release (Feb 25th), Best of Four.  But readers have already gotten to know these two in the first three books, She's the One, It Takes Two and Best of Three. And they have a bit of a past that I was happy to reveal in this short holiday story! Enjoy!







Two years, one week and three days ago

There was nothing sexy about gingerbread men.  Especially ones that were really just big
blobs of gingerbread with a foot sticking out here and there.  There was also nothing sexy about sugar cookies.  Especially ones that were burnt on the bottom.  And there should be nothing sexy about his best friend’s little sister muttering words that would have shocked her mother while putting colorful gumdrops on the top of green Rice Krispie treat trees.
But Cody Madsen found himself a little tighter in his blue jeans when he stepped into Olivia Dixon’s kitchen.  She was beautiful.  Her jeans were faded across the butt, her hair was escaping the twist on top of her head, she had green frosting smeared up one arm and cocoa powder on her left thigh.
And he wanted to kiss her.
But then again, he wanted to kiss her nearly every time he saw her, green frosting or not.
The timer on the oven went off, startling him.  She turned away from the table where she
had at least four different kinds of cookies spread out and saw him.
“Cody!”
“Hi.  Didn’t mean to sneak up on you.”  Of course, with Bruce Springsteen belting out his version of Santa Claus Is Coming to Town, she couldn’t have heard his knock or him coming in through the front door.
She reached for the stereo that sat on the shelf where she kept her cookbooks and turned down the volume.  “No problem.”
“Conner asked me to come over and get his cooler.  He said he sent it home with you after the last tailgate.” Among other things, Cody and Olivia’s brother Conner, played on the local amateur football team, the Omaha Hawks, together.  Once a month, the guys hung out with fans pre-game at the Hawks sponsored tailgate party.
“It’s in the garage,” Olivia said, gesturing toward the door.
Cody started in that direction, but something in her eyes made him stop.  He’d only been able to appreciate her from the side.  Now looking at her straight on he realized she’d been crying. 
He frowned.  “You okay?”
She sniffed, but nodded. “I’m baking for the bake sale at St. Anthony’s.”
St. Anthony’s was the big local trauma center where Conner, and their buddy Ryan, worked as paramedics.  The Christmas bake sale was an annual event that raised money for Christmas gifts for the local women and children’s center.
“It smells great.”
It did.  Underneath the aroma of burnt sugar.
“My gingerbread men are more appropriate for Halloween, my Rice Krispie trees are too mushy, I’m out of coconut, and I can’t even get the sugar cookies to turn out.  And,” she went on. “I have to come up with a unique recipe for the contest and everything I’ve tried has ended up in the garbage.”
It was obvious she was distracted.  Olivia was a fantastic baker.  He’d had her cookies, pies, cakes and brownies in the years since he’d met Conner in college.  They were all amazing.  Almost as amazing as his.
“What’s going on?” he asked.
She sniffed again and shrugged. “Nothing. I’m just stressed about getting the cookies done.”
“How many are you doing?”  There were a lot of cookies in that kitchen already.
“Ten dozen.”
Ten?”
She lifted a shoulder.  “Baking makes me happy.  It comforts me.” 
“You need comforting?”  He hated that idea.  Olivia was the sweet one of the Dixon Divas—as she and her three sisters were collectively called.  She was the bubbly optimist.  Everyone loved that about her.  Cody loved that about her.  She was one of those people that could put you in a good mood no matter what else was going on.  He hated to think she was anything less than happy.
“No.  I just need to make six dozen more cookies.”
“I’ll help.”
Her eyes widened.  “You’ll help me make cookies?” 
Well, hell, he hadn’t really meant to say that but… cookies he could do.  Comforting a woman, he wasn’t so sure about and he suspected that she did actually need comforting.
Cody tossed his keys onto the counter by the coffee pot and rolled up his sleeves.  “I’ll help you make cookies.”
She looked wary.  “Do you know how to make cookies?”
“Olivia,” he said, stepping to the sink to wash his hands.  “I’m going to blow your mind with how I make cookies.”
Her expression brightened.  “Well, I haven’t had my mind blown by a man in a long time.”
He paused and looked at her.  Was she flirting?  Did she mean that the way his mind had taken it?
Her cheeks were pink.  “In the kitchen,” she added.  “I haven’t had my mind blown by a man in the kitchen in a long time.”
Yeah, he could blow her mind in any room she wanted. 
He focused on the running water.  No he couldn’t.  She was his best friend’s little sister. His best friend who had seen Cody watching Olivia across Trudy’s Tavern three months ago and said “Don’t even think about it.”  Cody’s response had been “nothing to worry about man”.  It had to be.  Conner knew things about Cody’s past with women that gave him good reason to worry about Cody getting involved with someone Conner cared about.  The fact that it was his little sister… yeah, never gonna happen.
“Tell me about this unique recipe you have to come up with,” he said, reaching for a towel.
“It’s for the Cookie Contest.  Winner gets a hundred dollars to donate to their favorite charity.”
Feeling a little more composed with talk of cookies and charity, he turned to face her. 
She was beating something in a big plastic bowl with a vengeance.  And wearing a deep scowl.  He rescued the innocent cookie dough, setting it to the side.
“What do you have for the contest so far?”
She sighed and reached for the huge mug sitting in the middle of the stove, then leaned against the counter.  “I’ve done a peppermint sugar cookie that wasn’t pepperminty enough, I tried making mocha gingerbread men—” She wrinkled her nose.  “—that were a disaster.  And I tried an eggnog cookie recipe that was… okay.”
He looked around.  “Where are the remnants?”
She leaned to the right, revealing a plate of cookie pieces behind her.  He reached for one but she didn’t move, which meant that his body ended up closer to hers than it had ever been. 
He was instantly hit by heat and the urge to put his lips against her neck.  As he slowly straightened, he caught the scent of peppermint.  But it wasn’t coming from the cookies.
“Schnapps?” he asked.
She sipped from her cup again and nodded.
“You tried the schnapps in the cookies to make them more pepperminty?”
She smiled.  “I put the schnapps in my hot cocoa to make my attitude better.”
“Bad day?”
She shook her head, but said, “Yes.”
“Is the schnapps helping?”
She drank again.  “Yes.”
He bit into one of the peppermint cookie pieces.  It was good.  It wasn’t amazing, but it was good.  “I can fix these cookies,” he said.  “Does that help?”
She looked at him in surprise.  “Yes. That would definitely help.”
He moved toward the collection of ingredients she had spread out on the counter top.  “I think it’s interesting that you didn’t realize what you needed to do here.”
“What do you mean?”
“Peppermint cookies are good, but chocolate peppermint cookies are awesome.”
She opened her mouth, then looked down at her cup, then up at him.  Her mouth curved into a smile.  “I guess I’m a little slow today.”
Cody started measuring and stirring.  “Yeah, what’s going on?”
“I went to the grocery store for supplies.  I ran into George.” 
He glanced at her. Her eyes filled with tears and Cody abandoned his bowl and spoon, instinctively stepping forward.  He didn’t know who George was, but the encounter had clearly upset her.  That made him want to punch George.
“He was with another woman.”
Ah. The fact that she was upset about George being with another woman probably meant he wasn’t her accountant.  Cody reached out and ran his hand up and down her arm.  “I’m sorry, Liv.”
She smelled like chocolate and peppermint.  He loved both.
“You were dating a man named George?” Cody asked, trying to concentrate on the issue.  George making Olivia cry.  The fucker.
“Yes.  And George is apparently dating a woman named Maggie.”
Dammit.  He definitely wanted to punch George.  “But he took her to the grocery store.  That’s not very romantic.”
“They were buying whipped cream and chocolate syrup.”
Cody thought about that.  “Ice cream?” he suggested.
Her eyes filled again.  “George has sensitive teeth.”
Cody thought about that.  Then laughed.  “You’re better off without George.”
“It’s not his fault his teeth are sensitive to cold.”
“George was buying whipped cream and chocolate syrup with another woman, Liv,” Cody said gently.  “He’s an idiot.”
She shook her head.  “It’s me.”
“It’s not you.”
“It is.  I told him…”  She trailed off and sniffed, wiping her hand over her wet cheek.
The motion left a streak of green granulated sugar behind.  Which went along well with the powdered sugar that dusted her hairline at her temple, the red frosting that was smudged on her neck and the streak of chocolate at the corner of her mouth.
Cody felt himself move in closer without even thinking about it.  “You told him what?”
Please God, don’t let her have said she loved him.  Cody wasn’t completely clear on exactly why that idea put a huge knot in his gut, but it did.
“I told him I wouldn’t sleep with him.  It was too soon.  I wasn’t ready.”
Cody let out a long relieved breath. Relieved was a strange emotion to be feeling about it, but he decided it was too complicated to spend much time on at the moment. “I think that’s amazing.  Good for you.”
One eyebrow went up.  “Amazing?”
“You deserve a guy who will wait and put every effort into winning you over.”
She shook her head.  “Why do men only think of sex? I mean, is it really that important?”
Cody shrugged.  “Well… yeah.”
“But with the right woman… a guy would be willing to wait, right?”
He looked into those big blue eyes, the tendrils of blond hair escaping her ponytail, the bright red apron that covered her and said, “Absolutely.”
“So, what’s wrong with me?”
“Not one damned thing.”
She stared at him for a moment, then shook her head.  “I think what’s wrong is that I only wanted to kiss him.”
“That doesn’t make you wrong.”
“It means that I was with the wrong guy,” she said, setting her cup down.
There was something in her eyes, and her voice, that made him swallow hard. “It might just mean you weren’t ready to move to the next level with him.”
“That’s strange considering that with you I’m ready for the next level right now.”
Her words rocked through him and now he couldn’t swallow.  “Wh…wha…what?”
“You heard me.”
“You’re drunk.”
She shrugged. “I’m tipsy. But it’s not like this is the first time I’ve wanted to kiss you.”
“Liv,” he said, his heart twisting in his chest.  “We can’t.”
“You don’t want to kiss me, Cody?”
She reached behind her and untied her apron.  She slipped it over her head and tossed it to the side.
He blinked.
What are you wearing?”
She looked down and smiled.  “My ugly Christmas sweater.”
“Why?”
“It was supposed to cheer me up.”
The sweater was a light knit in shimmery gold.  Except for the two Santa-type mittens curving around either side and covering her breasts.  The bottom said “Feel the joy”.
He couldn’t resist his own smile.  “Did it work?”
“A little.” She moved closer.  “Not as much as kissing you would.”
He took a deep breath.  She was tipsy.  But she was also sad.  He hated that George had chosen Maggie over Olivia.  She understandably needed some reassurance.  He was a big fan of hers, so he could easily assure her that she was amazing. “You’re gorgeous and sexy and sweet and any guy would be a damned fool if he didn’t kiss you every chance he got.”
She looked him straight in the eye. “Prove it.”
Yeah, he’d kind of known that’s where this was going.
Even as he stepped closer and put his hands on her hips, he knew he shouldn’t.  Even when he lifted her up to the countertop, he knew he shouldn’t.  Even when he stepped between her knees, lifted his hand and wiped the chocolate from the corner of her mouth then licked it off, he knew he shouldn’t.
But he did anyway.
He pulled the clip from her hair and tossed it over his shoulder, he ran his hand through her hair then cupped the back of her head.
He took a moment to appreciate the way her breath caught. The way her pupils dilated. The way her cheeks flushed.
Then he kissed her.
And it turned out that the chemistry he’d imagined between them, was very, very real.
The kiss went from sweet to spicy in two seconds.  She gripped the front of his shirt, arching closer.  He opened his lips over hers and she moaned, allowing him to stroke his tongue deep, tasting the chocolate and peppermint and the underlying deliciousness that was all Olivia.
She wrapped her legs around his waist.
He slid his hand up under her sweater, stroking her spine, her ribs, then cupping her breast.
Feel the joy, indeed.
She whimpered as he brushed his thumb over the hardened tip.
Just as he heard the front door bang open.
“Liv, we’re here to help!”
Cody ripped his mouth from Olivia’s as her sister, Amanda, called to her.
“Damn,” Olivia muttered.
Cody stepped back, taking a deep breath and trying not to notice how gorgeous she looked with her hair tousled and her mouth wet from his.
She pressed her lips together and pulled her ugly sweater down as she met his gaze.  “Damn,” she said again.
Yep, that about summed it up.
Olivia slid off the counter as her sisters came into the kitchen.
Cody reached for the bottle of peppermint schnapps.


Want the recipe that Cody whips up?  
Click here for Cody's 
~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Cody and Olivia get their full story February 25th!  Mark your calendars for Going for Four!

Counting on Love, Book 4


It’s either true love…or the biggest mistake they’ve ever made.

Cody Madsen has stayed away from Olivia Dixon for almost two years—technically. Even though he talks to her every day and sees her every weekend. But there’s no kissing, touching, or telling her how he really feels. Because they’re just friends.  Anything more than that would mean crossing the line that Olivia’s older brother—Cody’s best friend—has firmly drawn between them.

Olivia wants what her three sisters have—true love. She could almost believe she’s found it with Cody, if it weren’t for the fact that her brother won’t have it. And he’s never steered her wrong before. Her head is telling her to trust her brother, but her heart won’t let go of Cody.

Her solution? A dating site where she and Cody can each find their “Perfect Pick” once and for all.

But when the site yields some unexpected results, their real feelings come front and center. And they have to decide if it’s worth the risk to cross the line from friendship to love after all.

Warning: Contains a starry-eyed romantic, a wanna-be Knight in Shining Armor, and chocolate chip cookies. A lot of chocolate chip cookies.

You can also catch up with Cody, Olivia and the whole gang right now with 
She's the One, It Takes Two and Best of Three!

 And there's MORE!   
Tidings of Comfort & Schnapps 
Part TWO is at my blog!  :D



For more information about this event, 
check out last Friday's post!

And remember that all comments here get entered to win your very own ugly sweater kit! You can also comment over on our Sweater Season event page for a chance to win, or hey, post an ugly sweater pic there for a chance to win a $50 gift card!