Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Guest Blogger Daisy Harris - The Size of the Prize

For a while there, it seemed like men in erotic romance were getting taller and taller…and taller. As their dimensions expanded like the Stay-Puff Marshmallow Man, other parts of their anatomies grew, um…proportionally.

And it frightened me. Where were we going next? Ten feet tall heroes with two-foot long tools? Would they reach fifteen feet eventually? And how ginormous would said heroes’ sexual organs become? The size of a breadbox? A dachshund? Honestly, where would it end?

Then I read a statistic that claimed women whose partners’ penises were smaller than average reported more sexual satisfaction than women whose partners were above average. Despite the tendencies in erotic romance, I wasn’t surprised. Let’s face it—there’s only so much you can do with a giant wang. For example- 1. Hope you don’t have TMJ! 2. Once it gets in there it’s pretty much stuck. There’s not a whole lot of room to maneuver. 3. Not to offend anyone’s delicate sensibilities, but there’s some places that monster’s simply not going to fit.

Yet, despite my concerns over the practicality of humongous boners, I write them all the time. I’d never be so coarse as to mention inches or diameter, but I make comments that lead the reader to believe the heroine (or co-hero) is impressed, perhaps even awed. I worry—am I a hypocrite? Maybe I shouldn’t be perpetuating the myth that bigger equals better.

But here’s the thing—love makes penises bigger. It’s true! Just as a loved one become more attractive when he buys you a gift or does the dishes, the little Mr. looks bigger when he’s done a good job. Fact: 67% of women report that they’re partner is larger than average. Talk about “Awwww.” How cute is that?

Further, only 12% of women say their partner is smaller than average. And most of those women aren’t “unhappy” about their partner’s size. They just admit it’s small-ish.

So I’ve decided when I’m writing about huge, throbbing, veiny man-package, I’m not describing the size of the love-tool, but the size of the love! In some cases, my hero really is big, but mostly he feels giant around the woman he swore to protect. My heroine’s fascination is not so much with his dimensions, but with how excited she makes him, how hard he gets for her.

If my heroes are freakishly proportioned, it’s only because the heroine (or co-hero) gives him the biggest erection he’s ever had. Such is the power of true love. ☺

Birkenstock-wearing glamour girl and mother of two by immaculate conception, Daisy Harris still isn’t sure if she writes erotica. Her paranormal romances start out innocently enough. However, her characters behave like complete sluts. Much to Miss Harris’s dismay, the sex tends to get completely out of hand.

She writes about trampy mermaids, sexy dragons, and snuff-y shark-shifters. Her work also features zombie ingenues, horny gods, and some holiday characters like you’ve never seen them before. And there’s almost always a mad scientist in there somewhere.

If you like science-y subplots, fantastical creatures, and red-hot chemistry, you’ll love Daisy Harris. You can find her on Twitter, Facebook and at www.thedaisyharris.com/.


lindsey hutchison said...

lmao oh lord i loved this! the words the straight talk i really need to check out some of her books for sure. it wasnt too much info honey you could have gone longer and i would have kept reading


daydrmzzz said...

I'm already a fan of Daisy's :) love her straight forwardness and her crazy personality xoxox I'm looking forward to finishing the Mere series.

PG Forte said...

Awesome post, Daisy. Oh, the power of true love... LMAO!

Daisy Harris said...

Thanks for having my on the blog, Naughty Nine. :)

Lindsey- pleased to make your acquaintance! Glad you enjoyed!

Daydrmzzz- thanks for stopping by. Hope you're having fun with my mere.

Hey PG! You going to RWA?

Skylar Kade said...

rofl here Daisy. Great post!

Juniper Bell said...

Oh Daisy, no one says it quite like you!! I'm still laughing over here. Great post!

Kelly Jamieson said...

Go big or go home!

Welcome to the Naughty Nine Daisy!!

PG Forte said...

Hey, Daisy! No, sadly, I'm not. :(

Meg Benjamin said...

Ah Daisy, you're unique. Thanks so much for blogging with us!