Wednesday, April 13, 2011
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
Guest Blogger Nick Howard - Rules and Laws
My story, Be Careful What You Wish For, was inspired by a regulation I came across while preparing for a liquor tasting, where different vendors offer a taste of their products. Certainly not the usual source of inspiration for writing a story but this policy made me wonder at some of the odd laws, policies and rules we all have run into.
The new rule here was if anyone was serving a mix drink, for example vodka and soda, they were required to have inside the booth:
5 gallon thermal container with a spigot
5 gallon bucket to catch the water
A large automotive funnel to place in the bucket to prevent splashing
Liquid hand soap
Paper towels
Hand sanitizer
Personally I thought the vodka would be good enough to kill any germs. In any case I decided to serve wine which didn’t require five gallons of heated water, but I wondered about applying some new laws to a traditional fairy tale. Be Careful What You Wish For is a twist on the kidnapping of a princess. Princess Lily is the stereotype princess, pretty and a bit of a snob. The knight in shining armor is strong, handsome and what we expect a knight to look like. This is where the story deviates (and in this case the word deviate is a good term to use) from a traditional fairytale, and we are introduced to the Kidnapping of Damsels Laws. The KoD Laws are a bit extreme (e.g. the kidnapping cannot take place on a night with less than a three-quarter moon) but probably make as much sense as requiring five gallons of heated water to serve twenty-five ounces of vodka.
Regardless, I had fun writing up the laws concerning the kidnapping of damsels and I hope you get some laughs from reading them too. Perhaps you can think of a few more laws that could be added in the story. However, if you happen to go to a liquor tasting and the poor chap there has a five gallon container of water next to him, be appreciative of all the preparation he had to do to pour you that one ounce of sprit.
Nick Howard was born long ago in a place far away, and has been accused of being influenced by the series Star Wars in his writing. He denies this, although his favorite scene was Princess Leia wearing a metal bikini as a slave girl to Jabba the Hutt.
Currently Nick is residing on the planet Earth, central Alberta to be more specific. He lives on an acreage that requires constant maintenance whether it be the home or controlling the numerous weeds that try to overrun the property like a tribe of Ewoks. He does have an actual job besides writing, operating as liquor representative for a small agency. While drinking some of the company profits he loves to write and is currently working on the fourth book of the Praxton series. He invites you to visit his website, www.nshoward.com, and check out his stories. Some stories are free to read while others are copyrighted in the Andromeda Galaxy.
Stories by Nick Howard:
Praxton, Slaves of the Rogue World
Praxton, The Battle for Freedom
Praxton, The Proposal
The Doorway
Buy Me
Inventory Time
Be Careful What You Wish For
Snow Job
Monday, April 11, 2011
The Truth Comes Out
We're back! RT 2011 was awesome-- full of funny moments, memorable moments, OMG moments (good and bad) and lots of laughter! (and wine, but that's another story... or is it??)
I got home two hours ago and knew I had to get this blog post done before I fall asleep but thankfully, I already knew what I was going to post (and I ran it by the six girls featured so it's okay :))
A couple of weeks ago, Kinsey posted about what she thought we would all be like in person based on the relationship we've established over a year and a half online. Keep in mind that we "talk" every day online. We've been through ups and downs with our writing, we talk about our kids and families, we talk about things that piss us off, thrill us, make us cry, make us laugh. We've gotten to know each other pretty well.
So we all had an idea of what we thought the others would be like and we had high hopes for a great conference together. And then we all got a few butterflies thinking about meeting for the first time. What if they're not what I think? What if we don't get along as well as we think we do? What if this totally sucks and ruins everything???? (okay, maybe that's a bit dramatic...)
Well, I thought the perfect follow up after RT (and given the "what happens at RT stays at RT" rule that was instituted) was to post what we all were really like after all! :) Everyone was pretty much what I expected them to be, but each of them surprised me in at least one way.
The Naughty Nine (minus 2 :)) According to Erin:
1. Skylar is adorable. I knew she would be. She's perky and fun and sweet, bending over backwards to help us all out. But she can also crack the whip. She kept us organized, told us where to go and when and made sure everyone was accounted for all the time. (thank goodness) She was also one of the few able to find her way around the most amazingly confusing what-were-they-drinking-when-they-designed-this hotel I've ever been in!
2. Kinsey is definitely fun. She says what she thinks and I've always loved that about her. But she's a little... flakier... than I expected :) Things got lost, then found, then something else got lost, then Kinsey got lost... but it actually just adds to her charm!
3. Juniper is laid back and easy to be around as expected. There's no pressure with Juniper, she just accepts you as you are. But she's quieter than I thought she would be. Of course, with this group it's damned hard to get a word in edge-wise!
4. Kelly is sweet and funny as I knew she would be and she's totally put together. She warned me that she'd be high maintenance so I had visions of hours in the bathroom, but the truth is, she's got this easy glamour thing going. Like it's simply natural to look great. All the time. And yeah, I like her anyway...
5. Meg is no-nonsense (in the spirit of full disclosure, I'd already met Meg so knew this) But she can also swear like a sailor at a truck stop. (Kinsey is more surprised by my potty mouth than Meg's, but I still get a kick out of hearing Meg swear, esp about people she doesn't like much. Or at all.)
6. PG is fun. She loves to laugh and has a great sense of humor. Again, totally expected. What I didn't expect was that she really does have a limit :) There really is a no-more-nice-PG line that can be crossed. It's hard to get there but when you do... well, anyway.
As for me--well, I'm exactly as they all expected me to be. Very cool, incredibly funny, inspiring to all around me and I look really good in a tiara.
So there you go. Now you know! I wish I had some pictures to share... we didn't take any really nice, dressed up, all together pictures-- which stinks (Skylar, wasn't this *your* job?). But I think the others have some pix you'll probably get to see at some point.
And be sure to check back with us. We got all kinds of STUFF-- swag and books and bags and well, stuff, to share so we'll be having some giveaways. And I'm sure the other six will have some memories to share as well!
Okay, my pillow-- my OWN pillow-- is calling me! 'Night! Thanks for a fantastic five days!
Erin
Friday, April 8, 2011
Home Alone Day 3
As you can see from the pic below, the others are having fun hanging out. So Kate and I decided that no party is complete without some party games. Kate and I decided (okay I decided and threatened Kate with my whip) to have some Madlib fun with each others excerpts. Enjoy!
Kate's Excerpt (Madlib-edited by Sydney)
Jessica slipped her parachute off and put it on the hook on the back of the door. She stepped into the foamy bath, wincing a little as the heat of the water bit at her toes. She adjusted to the warmth quickly and slid into the mud up to her neck. Smiling, she closed her eyes.
No, it was no good. The least little relaxation, the moment she let her guard down, and he polkaed right through her brain.
“Go away,” she muttered. “I’m taking a bath.”
But her subconscious merely stuck its tongue out at her and provided a living-color image of Tom Cameron wearing a far-too-skimpy bedazzled fannypack wrapped around his waist, hair damp and tousled, nose glistening with droplets of water. She squeezed her eyes shut again.
Nope, the picture was still there. And now one of those water drops was sliding down his chest, pausing momentarily at his navel—he was an innie, she noted, at least in her fantasy—and continuing lower until it disappeared out of sight behind the fannypack. Jessica sighed. Stupid fannypack.
More like stupid Jessica, she thought, shaking her nipple tassels. She’d never even seen the man in anything but business attire. Even at Hard Rock Cafe he’d been in his suit and tie, obviously growling up dinner on the way home from work. She was probably just superimposing his head on the torso of some centaur. Didn’t the subconscious mind like to mix and match?
Except his dress shirt seemed to fit like second skin, and she’d already determined that his slacks clung to a rear end that was prime fodder for fantasy. She had the twitching sensation that her supermodel image of him was licking pretty close to the mark.
Sydney's Excerpt (Madlib-edited by Kate)
“You’re not telling me the chicken. Otherwise your scent—”
Suddenly self-conscious, she whipped around, hitting him off. “What about my scent?”
Oh boy.
Well, facing him had been a cunning misstep. This close she had no choice but to angle her face up to meet his gaze, her own drawn right to his full mouth in the process. She didn’t even care that a hunter’s smile curved the civil war lips, like one who’d suddenly cornered his prey and was ready to pounce. She was too busy thinking about what his pizza might taste like.
Needed to know what it tasted like.
“The sidearm does not—”
He reached past her, surprising her by DRIVING the laptop shut. “We’ll get along much better if you’re honest with me, sorceress. And you are aroused.”
“And you are apparently suffering from some kind of post-stone stress.” The pointed reminder of how he’d spent the last hundred years rolled right off his ankle, taking with it her last-ditch effort to get some seaside between them before she turned a small mistake into a colossal one.
“Very aroused,” he clarified. His eyes flared, a hint of satisfaction wheeling in the startling old depths as he lowered his head.
The chocolate links clinked together as he gripped her hip and pulled her close.
“Pheromones,” she blurted just as his unibrow hovered above her own. “You’re a cat. You’re exciting me with your pheromones.” It made perfect sense. Unfortunately the light-bulb moment was too ORANGE too late when he teased his mouth across hers.
Cian laughed softly, catching her bottom lip between his. “Weirdly.”
Her navel slid shut, and then his mouth covered hers and she ceased caring about why she felt this way. The anticipation that had been snowballing inside her shattered, and she happened, parting her lips for him.
Leave a comment picking out a couple of the words that you're pretty sure were not in the original versions of our excerpts and be entered to ebooks from our backlists. Contest open until Sunday night.
Kate's Excerpt (Madlib-edited by Sydney)
Jessica slipped her parachute off and put it on the hook on the back of the door. She stepped into the foamy bath, wincing a little as the heat of the water bit at her toes. She adjusted to the warmth quickly and slid into the mud up to her neck. Smiling, she closed her eyes.
No, it was no good. The least little relaxation, the moment she let her guard down, and he polkaed right through her brain.
“Go away,” she muttered. “I’m taking a bath.”
But her subconscious merely stuck its tongue out at her and provided a living-color image of Tom Cameron wearing a far-too-skimpy bedazzled fannypack wrapped around his waist, hair damp and tousled, nose glistening with droplets of water. She squeezed her eyes shut again.
Nope, the picture was still there. And now one of those water drops was sliding down his chest, pausing momentarily at his navel—he was an innie, she noted, at least in her fantasy—and continuing lower until it disappeared out of sight behind the fannypack. Jessica sighed. Stupid fannypack.
More like stupid Jessica, she thought, shaking her nipple tassels. She’d never even seen the man in anything but business attire. Even at Hard Rock Cafe he’d been in his suit and tie, obviously growling up dinner on the way home from work. She was probably just superimposing his head on the torso of some centaur. Didn’t the subconscious mind like to mix and match?
Except his dress shirt seemed to fit like second skin, and she’d already determined that his slacks clung to a rear end that was prime fodder for fantasy. She had the twitching sensation that her supermodel image of him was licking pretty close to the mark.
Sydney's Excerpt (Madlib-edited by Kate)
“You’re not telling me the chicken. Otherwise your scent—”
Suddenly self-conscious, she whipped around, hitting him off. “What about my scent?”
Oh boy.
Well, facing him had been a cunning misstep. This close she had no choice but to angle her face up to meet his gaze, her own drawn right to his full mouth in the process. She didn’t even care that a hunter’s smile curved the civil war lips, like one who’d suddenly cornered his prey and was ready to pounce. She was too busy thinking about what his pizza might taste like.
Needed to know what it tasted like.
“The sidearm does not—”
He reached past her, surprising her by DRIVING the laptop shut. “We’ll get along much better if you’re honest with me, sorceress. And you are aroused.”
“And you are apparently suffering from some kind of post-stone stress.” The pointed reminder of how he’d spent the last hundred years rolled right off his ankle, taking with it her last-ditch effort to get some seaside between them before she turned a small mistake into a colossal one.
“Very aroused,” he clarified. His eyes flared, a hint of satisfaction wheeling in the startling old depths as he lowered his head.
The chocolate links clinked together as he gripped her hip and pulled her close.
“Pheromones,” she blurted just as his unibrow hovered above her own. “You’re a cat. You’re exciting me with your pheromones.” It made perfect sense. Unfortunately the light-bulb moment was too ORANGE too late when he teased his mouth across hers.
Cian laughed softly, catching her bottom lip between his. “Weirdly.”
Her navel slid shut, and then his mouth covered hers and she ceased caring about why she felt this way. The anticipation that had been snowballing inside her shattered, and she happened, parting her lips for him.
Leave a comment picking out a couple of the words that you're pretty sure were not in the original versions of our excerpts and be entered to ebooks from our backlists. Contest open until Sunday night.
Thursday, April 7, 2011
Home Alone Bash, Day Two!
Heh. The other Nine Naughty Novelists have NO IDEA what they've gotten themselves into. Leaving Syd and me home alone, with the keys to the blog and the liquor cabinet unlocked. Lemon Drop, anyone? *rattles mixer* I was in Los Angeles last week, on a reconnaissance mission for the seven of nine attending RT. Here's proof: 
See the Hollywood sign, way back there in the distance? I was totally there. But now I'm here, home again, and ready to live vicariously through the seven of nine Naughty Novelists who are at RT this week. I've already collected a few tweets, and hope to add some photos and additional tweets throughout the day.
Also, Meg Benjamin won the RT Indie Press Romance Award today - haven't tracked down a photo yet, but CONGRATULATIONS!!!!
See the Hollywood sign, way back there in the distance? I was totally there. But now I'm here, home again, and ready to live vicariously through the seven of nine Naughty Novelists who are at RT this week. I've already collected a few tweets, and hope to add some photos and additional tweets throughout the day. A few tweets to whet your appetite...
(Just so you know, PG is referring to my Romance Trading Cards, LOL.)
And since the Seven of Nine are in La La Land, let's have a contest based on locale! Where should they go while they're in LA? Post your suggestion in the comments today, and I'll draw a winner tomorrow morning. And don't forget to stop by throughout the day for more updates on the Seven of Nine and their adventures!
ETA: Juniper's first booksigning!
Also, Meg Benjamin won the RT Indie Press Romance Award today - haven't tracked down a photo yet, but CONGRATULATIONS!!!!
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
Home Alone Bash
So Kate and I are on our own for the rest of the week while the others kick up their heels in LA. But they can't be the only ones having fun, right? So to kick things off we're decorating, mixing margaritas (what? It's five o'clock somewhere lol) and grabbing a few of our favorite Hollywood hotties to party with.
Since the Naughty Nine are cohosting a reader event with the Smutketeers on Friday and talking about who they would cast in movie versions of their books, we thought we'd share some of them with you. And since this is a party, we need to give some stuff away. Contest details at the end of the post.
Juniper Bell
Training the Receptionist
For Ethan Cowell, senior partner, who else but Daniel Craig?
For Simon Dirk, the always sexy Clive Owen.
And for the lucky Dana Arthur, Ms. Emily Blunt.
Meg Benjamin
Venus in Blue Jeans
This one's easy b/c I've already associated Cal Toleffson with an actor--Kris Kristofferson. Except not the Kris Kristofferson of today (who's in his seventies and one hell of a good guy), but Krist Kristofferson circa 1976 or so.
Way back when I was writing Venus In Blue Jeans (all those many years ago), I thought of Docia as sort of like Suzie Plakston, a terrific but little known actress (Dustin Hoffman's assistant in Wag the Dog). Now I think of her more like Julianne Moore.
Kate Davies
Take a Chance on Me
It's no secret I'm a fan of Eric Sheffer Stevens, formerly of As The World Turns (and the New York stage scene). So I was pleasantly surprised to discover my description of Tom in TACOM fits Eric to a tee! (And no, I didn't write it with him in mind. In fact, I wrote the book well before I ever discovered ESS.) Of course, if I was casting director for a film version of TACOM, Eric would be playing Tom.
As for Jessica, can I cast myself? No? Dang. Well then, how about Karen Gillan, of Doctor Who fame? She'd have to get a haircut, but that's not a big deal...
PG Forte
Children of the Night
We're definitely entering the land of actors-who-must-time-travel to cast this series. Starting with the most obvious (IMO): Damian. Damian has to be played by the sooper sekrit Antonio Banderas clone I'm sure has to exist in some benevolent universe...
Armand is another easy one. Kyle Schmid who played Henry on Blood Ties fits him to a T.
Conrad's much harder. Could he be played by Ewan MacGregor? Or Gerard Butler?
Damn. Doesn't it make you want to move to San Francisco, just for the chance of seeing all those guys together? lol!
Then there's Brennan, the gate guard, who's human and who was always meant to be played by Victor Webster (who's already played a character named Brennan--what are the odds?)
Kelly Jamieson
Breakaway
This one was pretty easy because at one point in the book Jase actually thinks Remi is cute in a "Reese Witherspoon way".
And Jase...Josh Duhamel
Erin Nicholas
Anything You Want
I don’t usually have an actual picture of my characters (besides the one in my head) but for this book, Joshua Jackson would be Marc and Sarah Shahi would be Sabrina (both TV actors- Fringe and Fairly Legal respectively).
Sydney Somers
Primal Pleasure
For the heroine, Emma, I'd go with Rachel McAdams. She's got that natural charm and innocence that really captures my sorceress.
For Cian, I'd go with Jake Gyllenhall. Yum. I think he could really pull off the part of being ignorant of the world after spending the last hundred years in stone and still have that intense, sexy alpha vibe.
And on to the first contest of our Home Alone party, tell us which actors and actresses you'd love to see in movie versions of your favorite books and be entered to win some goody bags full of author swag our Naughty Nine will be collecting while at RT!
Since the Naughty Nine are cohosting a reader event with the Smutketeers on Friday and talking about who they would cast in movie versions of their books, we thought we'd share some of them with you. And since this is a party, we need to give some stuff away. Contest details at the end of the post.
Juniper Bell
Training the Receptionist
For Ethan Cowell, senior partner, who else but Daniel Craig?
For Simon Dirk, the always sexy Clive Owen.
And for the lucky Dana Arthur, Ms. Emily Blunt.
Meg Benjamin
Venus in Blue Jeans
This one's easy b/c I've already associated Cal Toleffson with an actor--Kris Kristofferson. Except not the Kris Kristofferson of today (who's in his seventies and one hell of a good guy), but Krist Kristofferson circa 1976 or so.
Way back when I was writing Venus In Blue Jeans (all those many years ago), I thought of Docia as sort of like Suzie Plakston, a terrific but little known actress (Dustin Hoffman's assistant in Wag the Dog). Now I think of her more like Julianne Moore.
Kate Davies
Take a Chance on Me
It's no secret I'm a fan of Eric Sheffer Stevens, formerly of As The World Turns (and the New York stage scene). So I was pleasantly surprised to discover my description of Tom in TACOM fits Eric to a tee! (And no, I didn't write it with him in mind. In fact, I wrote the book well before I ever discovered ESS.) Of course, if I was casting director for a film version of TACOM, Eric would be playing Tom.
As for Jessica, can I cast myself? No? Dang. Well then, how about Karen Gillan, of Doctor Who fame? She'd have to get a haircut, but that's not a big deal...
PG Forte
Children of the Night
We're definitely entering the land of actors-who-must-time-travel to cast this series. Starting with the most obvious (IMO): Damian. Damian has to be played by the sooper sekrit Antonio Banderas clone I'm sure has to exist in some benevolent universe...
Armand is another easy one. Kyle Schmid who played Henry on Blood Ties fits him to a T.
Conrad's much harder. Could he be played by Ewan MacGregor? Or Gerard Butler?
Damn. Doesn't it make you want to move to San Francisco, just for the chance of seeing all those guys together? lol!
Then there's Brennan, the gate guard, who's human and who was always meant to be played by Victor Webster (who's already played a character named Brennan--what are the odds?)
Kelly Jamieson
Breakaway
This one was pretty easy because at one point in the book Jase actually thinks Remi is cute in a "Reese Witherspoon way".
And Jase...Josh Duhamel
Erin Nicholas
Anything You Want
I don’t usually have an actual picture of my characters (besides the one in my head) but for this book, Joshua Jackson would be Marc and Sarah Shahi would be Sabrina (both TV actors- Fringe and Fairly Legal respectively).
Sydney Somers
Primal Pleasure
For the heroine, Emma, I'd go with Rachel McAdams. She's got that natural charm and innocence that really captures my sorceress.
For Cian, I'd go with Jake Gyllenhall. Yum. I think he could really pull off the part of being ignorant of the world after spending the last hundred years in stone and still have that intense, sexy alpha vibe.
And on to the first contest of our Home Alone party, tell us which actors and actresses you'd love to see in movie versions of your favorite books and be entered to win some goody bags full of author swag our Naughty Nine will be collecting while at RT!
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