Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Guest Blogger Nick Howard - Rules and Laws

My story, Be Careful What You Wish For, was inspired by a regulation I came across while preparing for a liquor tasting, where different vendors offer a taste of their products. Certainly not the usual source of inspiration for writing a story but this policy made me wonder at some of the odd laws, policies and rules we all have run into.

The new rule here was if anyone was serving a mix drink, for example vodka and soda, they were required to have inside the booth:

5 gallon thermal container with a spigot

5 gallon bucket to catch the water

A large automotive funnel to place in the bucket to prevent splashing

Liquid hand soap

Paper towels

Hand sanitizer

Personally I thought the vodka would be good enough to kill any germs. In any case I decided to serve wine which didn’t require five gallons of heated water, but I wondered about applying some new laws to a traditional fairy tale. Be Careful What You Wish For is a twist on the kidnapping of a princess. Princess Lily is the stereotype princess, pretty and a bit of a snob. The knight in shining armor is strong, handsome and what we expect a knight to look like. This is where the story deviates (and in this case the word deviate is a good term to use) from a traditional fairytale, and we are introduced to the Kidnapping of Damsels Laws. The KoD Laws are a bit extreme (e.g. the kidnapping cannot take place on a night with less than a three-quarter moon) but probably make as much sense as requiring five gallons of heated water to serve twenty-five ounces of vodka.

Regardless, I had fun writing up the laws concerning the kidnapping of damsels and I hope you get some laughs from reading them too. Perhaps you can think of a few more laws that could be added in the story. However, if you happen to go to a liquor tasting and the poor chap there has a five gallon container of water next to him, be appreciative of all the preparation he had to do to pour you that one ounce of sprit.

Nick Howard was born long ago in a place far away, and has been accused of being influenced by the series Star Wars in his writing. He denies this, although his favorite scene was Princess Leia wearing a metal bikini as a slave girl to Jabba the Hutt.

Currently Nick is residing on the planet Earth, central Alberta to be more specific. He lives on an acreage that requires constant maintenance whether it be the home or controlling the numerous weeds that try to overrun the property like a tribe of Ewoks. He does have an actual job besides writing, operating as liquor representative for a small agency. While drinking some of the company profits he loves to write and is currently working on the fourth book of the Praxton series. He invites you to visit his website, www.nshoward.com, and check out his stories. Some stories are free to read while others are copyrighted in the Andromeda Galaxy.

Stories by Nick Howard:

Praxton, Slaves of the Rogue World

Praxton, The Battle for Freedom

Praxton, The Proposal

The Doorway

Buy Me

Inventory Time

Be Careful What You Wish For

Snow Job


Jen B. said...

Wow, humans do feel the need to place rules on everything. Now you've peaked my curiosity. What is one of the rules for kidnapping a woman?
Jen B.

Nick Howard said...

Thanks for your interest. By tradition, a damsel may be kidnapped if the kidnapper is a man of honour, it is for the purpose of lust or love but not for financial gain and the kidnapping must be done at night with not less than a three-quarter moon. He has seven days to win her heart and then must set her free.

Meg Benjamin said...

Hi Nick, welcome to the Naughty Nine. Sounds like an interesting concept.

Nick said...

Thanks Meg. It was great to have a chance to do a post on the Naughty Nine. The story is a little off-beat, but sometimes it's fun to push the boundaries a little.

Kelly Jamieson said...

Welcome to the Naughty Nine, Nick! I always enjoy hearing about strange laws and rules! Sounds like a great starting point for a story!

Nick said...

Thanks Kelly. I like the site and it looks very interesting from the areas I read.