Sunday, September 5, 2010

Welcome to Bloodsuck

Springtime in Bloodsuck, Bluebonnets in Bloom
On behalf of the Bloodsuck Chamber of Commerce, and in conjunction with the Bloodsuck Gazette, bringing you all the news as soon as we get to it, we'd like to take this opportunity to welcome you to our friendly little town.
Located in the heart of the Texas Hill Country, which in turn is located in the heart of Texas, Bloodsuck is the heart of the heart of Texas. Yet, strange as it might seem, this vibrant community is still one of the best kept secrets in the entire Lone Star state. 

Don't believe us?

A  barn. One of many you can find here.
Well, had you ever even heard about Bloodsuck before this past week?

No. We didn't think so.

 Despite all the apparent secrecy surrounding it, the tiny but still somehow larger-than-life town of Bloodsuck has been a thriving concern for well over a century. This is due in no  small part (no pun intended) to its bounteous natural beauty, plentiful natural resources and other natural causes.
Two Cowboys ride the range at the Double Fang

Like any small town, Bloodsuck has seen its share of feuds among its citizenry. But whenever trouble has raised its ugly head and threatened to threaten  our fair town, darken our doorways and turn our blue skies gray, the Bloodsuckers have put aside their differences, risen to the occasion and banded together as one to fight adversity. 
Come. Let us show you around...
Another cowboy, possibly the elusive Rock Fangsworthy
The first stop on our tour is The Double Fang Ranch, which lays claim to the distinction of being the oldest, continually operating, working cattle ranch in all of Bloodsuck.

Or so they say.

 Set amid lush, cactus studded hills, the Double Fang seems truly a place that time forgot. In fact, visitors here frequently remark on this, saying that they feel like they've been transported back in time...although not at all in a weird, time travelly, abducted by aliens kind of way. The very air seems different here; redolent of history, mystery and cows.
Like its owner, the reclusive, elusive, and fabulously wealthy Mr. Rock Fangsworthy, the Double Fang is a venerable institution. They're both important parts of Bloodsuck heritage. 
The Brothers Braveheart
Of course, no trip to our little hamlet would be complete without a visit to Bloodsuck's own, Best Little Winery in Bloodsuck. A name some naysayers might say is due simply to its being the only winery in Bloodsuck. But, as any longtime resident will tell you, "that just goes to prove it!"
Wine Grapes, Ready for Harvest

Founded nearly three quarters of a century ago by the legendary (and legendarily hirsute) Braveheart brothers, Butch and Barkley, the winery property has been in the same family for three generations.

Though it has recently fallen on hard times, the current owner, the lovely Buffi Van Pelt, who inherited the winery from her grandmother, the late Mrs. Babs Braveheart, has made it her stated intention to restore the winery to its former glory.
Wine Bottles: Still better than Boxes

Good luck, Miz Van Pelt. We wish you  every success in your venture!
Adventure awaits when you  Rent-a-Burro!

One of Bloodsuck's newest and most innovative franchises, is Alejandro's Rent-a-Burro, which allows visitors to tour Bloodsuck in a unique colorful and economically feasible fashion. 
How better to explore the beauty that is greater Bloodsuck than from the back of one of these sturdy, surefooted and inexpensive little mounts?
Sticks provided at no extra charge. Carrots may be purchased separately. Ride at your own risk.

We hope you have enjoyed this virtual,  behind-the-scenes glimpse at Bloodsuck and that you'll make it a point to come back and visit with us soon.

Remember, the heart of the heart of Texas beats for you!

Welcome to Bloodsuck. Have some wine.


TeresaNoelleRoberts said...

Have I told you ladies yet how much I love you all for doing this?

PG Forte said...

Thanks, Teresa. Can you tell how much we're enjoying it? *g*

kelly said...

You had to get the boxed wine jab in there, didn't you?

PG Forte said...

Yup. ^_^

And the alien abduction time travelers.

Kinsey Holley said...

This is fabulous PG. And now I want to move to Bloodsuck.

Sherry said...

Bloodsuck sounds like a great place to visit and lots of fun.

Denise Golinowski said...

I totally cracked up on the alien "bone" and the boxed wine jab. But honestly, the Rent-A-Burro franchise has to take the cake. Or would that be a carrot? I'd better stick to reading and leave the comedy to you!

Denise Golinowski

Cassandra @ Book & Movie Dimension a Blog said...

I have kept us with Bloodsuck series. I enjoyed this post since it gives readers, like me, some background into the Bloodsuck world. Thanks, Nine Naughty Novelists! That name sure is fun to say.

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