Friday, September 3, 2010

Who's Who in Bloodsuck, Part II

It's no secret that some of the Naughty Nine are more comfortable at writing the woo-woo paranormal stuff than others; just as some of us have a higher heat-between-the-sheets tolerance. But, to each her own and, all things considered, we get along with one another extremely well.

That is, as long as we remember to steer clear of certain verboten subjects.

*cough*boxed wine*cough*

In any collaborative venture, it's important to establish guidelines. For example, when we first started planning the Zillionaire Vampire Cowboy's Secret Werewolf Babies the non-paranormal people, quite naturally, felt a little left out until we agreed to certain rules.

Rule #1. At least half the characters (not counting children) had to be...well, people. No fur, no fangs, no special talents... Okay, so maybe some "special talents" would be allowed (we're looking at you, Chastity!) just not the weirdo psychic ones.

Rule #2. No Space Aliens. Some of us are still pouting about that. A lot.

Rule # 3. For the most part, and wherever practical, vampires and werewolves within the ZVCSWB serialverse would be written to conform to standard usage. ie, vampires drink blood (even if the thought of it makes them sick) and shun sunlight and...oh, yeah. That reminds me. One of the most important rules of all:

Rule #4. No sparkles. Ever.

There were other rules too, of course, like the ones governing the uses and abuses of gratuitous sex scenes...which, not so surprisingly, brings us to the actual subject of today's post: our not-so-villainous villains.

 Chastity Feelsgood
“It don’t mean a thing if it ain’t got that bling.”

There are some things money can’t buy, or so Chastity’s always heard, but she’s not one of them. That’s okay with her, however, since she’s pretty sure those other things aren’t worth much anyway.

This gold-plated gold digger has an eye for the finer things in life…or at least the shinier things. Chastity might not be altogether certain what a Mountie is, but she knows they always get their man—and so does she.

The babelicious bimbo has set her sights on a certain cold-blooded cowboy. She won’t rest until Rock’s rock is on her third finger left hand, and no shapeshifter sister better get in her way.


Billy Bob Bobson
“Born to stake vampires. Pointy end down, pointy end down!”

Scion to the prestigious Boston Bobsons, Billy Bob has always known it was his destiny to one day take over the family  vampire hunting business. Ever since he was a little boy he’s staked his heart on it. Unfortunately, to date, his is the only heart he has staked.

Can he help it that he abhors violence, detests guns and has a weakness for the wrong kind of woman?

A Texas ranch is no place for someone with BB’s refined tastes and delicate constitution. There are too many gun-toting vampires, too many blood-thirsty babies and far too many cacti! Perhaps it’s time he looked for a new line of work to get into?

Be sure to stop back on Monday, when we'll be exploring some of the local hot-spots of beautiful Bloodsuck, Texas.


Juniper Bell said...

I don't care what anyone says, wine-in-a-box is genius. :)

Meg Benjamin said...

NO SPACE ALIENS. EVER. Do I make myself clear?

PG Forte said...


PG Forte said...

why y'all gotta be picking on me?

kelly said...

You guys seriously crack me up. I'm snorting wine all over my keyboard (why, yes, this did come from a box). I got your back on the space aliens thing, Meg.

PG Forte said...


Erin Nicholas said...

PG, I'm so with you on the cruise ship/ Return to Paradise idea but if you move anything to another planet or a space ship you're on your own!
Wine comes in a box??? Who knew?! lmao

PG Forte said...

remind me. why is it i'm hanging out with all you box lovin' alien haters again?

ps...Return to Paradise will be epic. And I'll cede the aliens if we can do Time Travel.

Erin Nicholas said...

*groan* Time Travel? Really?
Well, if it's that or space I'll take it.

Danielle said...

LOL. U guys are hilariou! And I have to say who you visually picked for the villains as well as the heroines is perfect. Especially Billy Bob. He sure looks like a shmuck!! I do have one question state that Rock is pale...but he isn't in his picture. Do I detect some rub on tan lotion? LOL. What a kicker that would be in one of your scenes huh? He needs to get some on quick before a business deal and lo and behold but who happens to be there when he needs the lotion rubbed on his back but Buffi? hehehehe...just my two cents though. I am soooo lovin' this story! Thanks for giving me something to look forward to about Thursday besides it being the day before Friday.

Denise Golinowski said...

Ha, Danielle, THERE's your brilliant observation about a vampire with a tan. Guess we'll have to see if anyone has tan tinged palms, eh? Chastity is everything I expected and Billy Bob, too. Keep me laughin' ladies, I'm lovin' it!