Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Guest Blogger Inez Kelley - Dirty Laundry Sucks

Seriously, if there is a more disgusting, boring job in the house, I have no clue what it is. I don’t mind cleaning the kitchen. Dishes? No problem. Scooping the cat litter? Ick but hey, whatever, doesn’t take but a minute. Clean the toilet? I have twin boys. Trust me, I *KNOW* how bad that job can be but I’ve never minded it really.

But dirty laundry? OH EM GEE, shoot me now. I would rather do any of the above. And if you even say the word IRONING in my presence, I break out in hives.

1) Gather the clothes, you know those piles on the floor, the towels no one used but are filthy, the bed linens, the shirt tucked under the couch cushion(What is with that anyway?).

2) Sort the clothes because it is too hard to hit the laundry hamper marked WHITES with your socks and the one marked COLORS with your tee shirts. Trigonometry is a snap but that hamper thing, Mensa-time there.

3)Do you have any idea the amount of dirty, disgusting things people leave in their pockets? One simple tissue makes a hell of a mess in a washing machine. Legos get sucked into the hoses. Coins and rocks make a helluva noise, and Chapstick? I have melted more waxy sticks than the U.S. Ski team uses in a lifetime.

4) Why is there always some weird red thing that bleeds on EVERYTHING every damned time? Unless you wash separate, alone. You know, because it is special. It can’t be rubbing fibers in a water bath with any other clothing, snotty little twerp-sweatshirt. Of course, it is my son’s favorite.

5)Don’t get wrapped up and forget there is a load in the washer or it smells and you have to rewash it. Which actually makes no sense, does it? You are rewashing clothes you already washed because they dried….mmmkay.

6)Dryer lint. Worse than cat hair. And if you forget that little white sheet? Everything crackles and sticks to each other and your hair looks like you licked a light socket just by pulling on your shirt.

7) Fold. Fold. Fold. Fold. And then fold some more. When you are done, fold another basketful.

8) Who the hell decided socks had to be mated and why is there always at least three refugee orphans left in the basket? Do I look like Mother Stocking Teresa?

9) Cart the crap back up the stairs and put it away. Nice neat stacks that last until someone pulls out the drawer and rummages through it.

10) Hanging stuff up. Why? It is just going to get dropped on the floor of the closet and all those hangers are like a Chinese puzzle.

Repeat. Often. Every week. Several times.


So why did I write an erotic novella series dealing with Dirty Laundry? Better the devil you know, I guess. Ginny Glass and I teamed up and took a new approach to the most despised household chore. By airing this dirty laundry, we exposed secrets that were held deep. The dirtier, the better in this case.

In Ginny’s COIN OPERATED, she twisted the laundry aspect with a BDSM flare. Bea lovingly does Eli’s laundry, the only way she can get close to his skin. He holds her away out of fear of all the naughty things he longs to do to her. One late night load pushes his buttons though, and man, she puts that Dom through the wringer.

Ginny and I co-wrote TALK DIRTY TO ME. A nameless, shameless voice on the phone tempts Nora into revealing her hidden desires. While James dirty-talks her to orgasm at night, Jarod romances her heart by day. The secrets are overflowing in this one and you’ll never guess what comes out in that wash!

I went for broke in COMING CLEAN…literally. A broken washing machine leads best friends Cade and Grant into a tight, wet spot. Grant’s wife doesn’t mind at all. After all, it was her threesome fantasy that lifted the lid off all their long-suppressed secrets. And when the threesome go for a tumble, coming clean never felt so good.

So if you have a pile or three of dirty laundry waiting on you, heave a sigh and get to it. Load the washer, head over to Carina Press and grab our novellas. Then settle back for a steamy good read while the machine does its thing. I can guarantee that our version of DIRTY LAUNDRY sucks better than yours any day.

COIN OPERATED by Ginny Glass

“Someone to teach you new ways to scream.”

Elijah Elliot and Beatrix London's fledgling ad agency is under siege. Not from outside competition but by Eli and Bea's unspoken lust for each other. As their unsatisfied cravings to dominate and submit bloom into vivid daydreams, the office becomes a minefield of frustrated needs and dangerous desires. Now something's gotta give or their partnership is going to self-destruct.

When Bea unveils a racy new light bondage ad campaign for their key client, she pushes Eli to cross the line he's drawn between them—the one that keeps him from doing all the hot, sinful things she imagines he's capable of...

TALK DIRTY TO ME by Ginny Glass and Inez Kelley

Tell me what you want. Talk dirty to me."

Biologist Nora MacGregor is frantic when she loses her dissertation notes on female sexuality—and some very personal fantasies. Then a sinful stranger calls with a wicked proposition: if she talks dirty to him, he'll return her notes, page by page. "James" allows Nora to explore her deepest desires and challenges her clinical ideas about sex. But James can't give her the loving touches she finds in her budding relationship with Dr. Jarod Reed.

Jarod seized an opportune moment to fulfill his desire for Nora by becoming the mysterious James. While the anonymous, erotic phone sessions are unforgettable, Jarod longs to tell Nora he wants more than just talk. But how can he confess his deception without it costing him the chance to make their fantasies a reality?

COMING CLEAN by Inez Kelley

Coming clean never felt so good...

Grant and Vivi Michaelson share everything in their marriage: love, commitment—and their wildest sexual desires. But their relationship is tested when Vivi admits she wants a threesome with Grant's old friend Cade, proposing their annual trip to the lake as the perfect opportunity to fulfill her fantasy.

All three of them are aroused by the idea. Vivi and Cade have long felt a smoldering attraction to each other...and Grant and Cade have hidden an illicit desire for decades. Going through with the ménage will test their boundaries, reveal old secrets...and maybe tear them apart. After all, there might be room for Cade in bed, but is there room for a third in their marriage?

And now for the CONTEST! I'm donating one commenter's choice of any of the Dirty Laundry books free, winner's choice. Leave a comment and be entered in a drawing for a Dirty Laundry book.


Inez Kelley is a multi-published author of various romance genres. You can visit her at her website http://inezkelley.com/ Follow Inez on twitter at @Inez_Kelley or on Facebook at http://www.facebook.com/inez.kelley

Ginny Glass writes everything romance related. Drop by http://www.ginnyglass.com and say Hi or follow her on Twitter at @ginnyglass or Facebook at http://www.facebook.com/authorginnyglass


Donna said...

Oh, oh! Are we sharing laundry stories? When my son was a teenager, he came back from a Boy Scout camping trip, dumped his laundry in front of the washer in a giant stinking heap, went to his room and fell asleep. I decided to get started on the laundry and as I was tossing things into the washer, realized his pillowcase was tied off. As I untied the knot in the pillowcase it began moving on its own. I dropped/threw it to the floor, and a snake slithered out! After all the screaming stopped I learned that Matt had brought the snake home so he could take it into biology class for extra credit. He recaptured the snake, got his extra credit and, as a bonus, also learned how to do his own laundry.

Anonymous said...
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Meg Benjamin said...

A snake in the laundry??? Oh my, that's enough to put me off doing laundry for life!

elaing8 said...

I actually like folding the laundry.weird I know.
I've read Coming Clean and its hot hot hot!!!


Juniper Bell said...

Laundry is one of my favorite household chores, oddly enough. I'm not crazy about dishes, however. And I see absolutely no potential for an erotic romance centered around dishes! But you talented ladies could probably come up with something. ;) Congratulations on your new release, it sounds very hot, can't wait to check it out!

Julie said...

I hate doing laundry, but I do love jumping into a warm, freshly done pile of it. Then I leave it to my sister, mwahaha. We have an agreement: she does the laundry, and I do the dishes.

Anonymous said...

I loved and reviewed "Salome at Sunrise" on Amazon and am enjoying (and will review) "Myla by Moonlight" so if I am so fortunate as to win here, I would choose "Talk Dirty To Me" to read and review.

By the way as a long term laid off Daddy Daycare provider, I actually prefer doing the laundry to almost all other forms of housework.

Does this mean there is something wrong with me? (Enjoying romance novels is scary enough, but now this!)

Kinsey Holley said...

I hate laundry like the Hub hates taking out the garbage - and laundry takes a LOT longer.

I don't ever have to re-wash, but I frequently have to re-dry because I leave stuff sitting in the dryer so long it gets wrinkled. And forget getting anyone to put away their own damn stuff. Good thing I have a small family.

I guess I'm ineligible to win, but that's okay cause I already bought it.

Oh, and - HI INEZ!!!!!!

Debra St. John said...

Great post. I certainly won't be thinking about mismatched socks the next time I do the laundry!

PG Forte said...

Folding is for Origami. 'Nuff said. And, oh, damn, Juniper, now you're gonna have us all dreaming up dish stories!

And hi, Inez. The stories sound wonderful!

Kelly Jamieson said...

Hi Inez! Welcome to the Naughty Nine! I don't mind laundry tho I must say it has never inspired one of my erotic romances. I'm so lucky because since I started writing my husband took over the laundry chore to give me more time to write. Yes, I love him. Now if only I could just get him to put his laundry IN the hamper, not ON the hamper.

Sherry said...

I really don't mind doing the laundry any more because it's just my stuff. When I was growing up it was something that I hated to do because we had to go to the laundromat and sometimes we would bring them home and hang them out to dry.
I've read a couple of the stories in the series and loved them.


Dino Rubio said...

Count me in! I would love to try one of these stories out...

*yadkny* said...

Getting dirty things clean can be fun if you've got the right person with you to help get the job done;)I'm lovin the theme choice on the books mentioned!


.: Jade said...

I don't mind doing laundry, I'd rather spend the whole day washing than cleaning a shower or bathroom. At least laundry isn't chemically.

Great theme for the series!