Seriously, if there is a more disgusting, boring job in the house, I have no clue what it is. I don’t mind cleaning the kitchen. Dishes? No problem. Scooping the cat litter? Ick but hey, whatever, doesn’t take but a minute. Clean the toilet? I have twin boys. Trust me, I *KNOW* how bad that job can be but I’ve never minded it really.
But dirty laundry? OH EM GEE, shoot me now. I would rather do any of the above. And if you even say the word IRONING in my presence, I break out in hives.
1) Gather the clothes, you know those piles on the floor, the towels no one used but are filthy, the bed linens, the shirt tucked under the couch cushion(What is with that anyway?).
2) Sort the clothes because it is too hard to hit the laundry hamper marked WHITES with your socks and the one marked COLORS with your tee shirts. Trigonometry is a snap but that hamper thing, Mensa-time there.
3)Do you have any idea the amount of dirty, disgusting things people leave in their pockets? One simple tissue makes a hell of a mess in a washing machine. Legos get sucked into the hoses. Coins and rocks make a helluva noise, and Chapstick? I have melted more waxy sticks than the U.S. Ski team uses in a lifetime.
4) Why is there always some weird red thing that bleeds on EVERYTHING every damned time? Unless you wash separate, alone. You know, because it is special. It can’t be rubbing fibers in a water bath with any other clothing, snotty little twerp-sweatshirt. Of course, it is my son’s favorite.
5)Don’t get wrapped up and forget there is a load in the washer or it smells and you have to rewash it. Which actually makes no sense, does it? You are rewashing clothes you already washed because they dried….mmmkay.
6)Dryer lint. Worse than cat hair. And if you forget that little white sheet? Everything crackles and sticks to each other and your hair looks like you licked a light socket just by pulling on your shirt.
7) Fold. Fold. Fold. Fold. And then fold some more. When you are done, fold another basketful.
8) Who the hell decided socks had to be mated and why is there always at least three refugee orphans left in the basket? Do I look like Mother Stocking Teresa?
9) Cart the crap back up the stairs and put it away. Nice neat stacks that last until someone pulls out the drawer and rummages through it.
10) Hanging stuff up. Why? It is just going to get dropped on the floor of the closet and all those hangers are like a Chinese puzzle.
Repeat. Often. Every week. Several times.
I. HATE. DIRTY. LAUNDRY.
So why did I write an erotic novella series dealing with Dirty Laundry? Better the devil you know, I guess. Ginny Glass and I teamed up and took a new approach to the most despised household chore. By airing this dirty laundry, we exposed secrets that were held deep. The dirtier, the better in this case.
In Ginny’s COIN OPERATED, she twisted the laundry aspect with a BDSM flare. Bea lovingly does Eli’s laundry, the only way she can get close to his skin. He holds her away out of fear of all the naughty things he longs to do to her. One late night load pushes his buttons though, and man, she puts that Dom through the wringer.
Ginny and I co-wrote TALK DIRTY TO ME. A nameless, shameless voice on the phone tempts Nora into revealing her hidden desires. While James dirty-talks her to orgasm at night, Jarod romances her heart by day. The secrets are overflowing in this one and you’ll never guess what comes out in that wash!
I went for broke in COMING CLEAN…literally. A broken washing machine leads best friends Cade and Grant into a tight, wet spot. Grant’s wife doesn’t mind at all. After all, it was her threesome fantasy that lifted the lid off all their long-suppressed secrets. And when the threesome go for a tumble, coming clean never felt so good.
So if you have a pile or three of dirty laundry waiting on you, heave a sigh and get to it. Load the washer, head over to Carina Press and grab our novellas. Then settle back for a steamy good read while the machine does its thing. I can guarantee that our version of DIRTY LAUNDRY sucks better than yours any day.
“Someone to teach you new ways to scream.”
Elijah Elliot and Beatrix London's fledgling ad agency is under siege. Not from outside competition but by Eli and Bea's unspoken lust for each other. As their unsatisfied cravings to dominate and submit bloom into vivid daydreams, the office becomes a minefield of frustrated needs and dangerous desires. Now something's gotta give or their partnership is going to self-destruct.
When Bea unveils a racy new light bondage ad campaign for their key client, she pushes Eli to cross the line he's drawn between them—the one that keeps him from doing all the hot, sinful things she imagines he's capable of...
Tell me what you want. Talk dirty to me."
Biologist Nora MacGregor is frantic when she loses her dissertation notes on female sexuality—and some very personal fantasies. Then a sinful stranger calls with a wicked proposition: if she talks dirty to him, he'll return her notes, page by page. "James" allows Nora to explore her deepest desires and challenges her clinical ideas about sex. But James can't give her the loving touches she finds in her budding relationship with Dr. Jarod Reed.
Jarod seized an opportune moment to fulfill his desire for Nora by becoming the mysterious James. While the anonymous, erotic phone sessions are unforgettable, Jarod longs to tell Nora he wants more than just talk. But how can he confess his deception without it costing him the chance to make their fantasies a reality?
Coming clean never felt so good...
Grant and Vivi Michaelson share everything in their marriage: love, commitment—and their wildest sexual desires. But their relationship is tested when Vivi admits she wants a threesome with Grant's old friend Cade, proposing their annual trip to the lake as the perfect opportunity to fulfill her fantasy.
All three of them are aroused by the idea. Vivi and Cade have long felt a smoldering attraction to each other...and Grant and Cade have hidden an illicit desire for decades. Going through with the ménage will test their boundaries, reveal old secrets...and maybe tear them apart. After all, there might be room for Cade in bed, but is there room for a third in their marriage?
And now for the CONTEST!
Inez Kelley is a multi-published author of various romance genres. You can visit her at her website http://inezkelley.com/ Follow Inez on twitter at @Inez_Kelley or on Facebook at http://www.facebook.com/inez.kelley