Tuesday, March 26, 2013

Guest Blogger Meg Lacey - What is sexy?

When Meg Benjamin sent me a message saying my blog was due March 26, I was in the midst of a revision for my August Entangled Book, Something’s Cooking. It’s a story about a Martha Stewart type cooking and living well guru who can’t cook and the reporter who thinks she’s a fraud and is determined to prove it.

One of the things I was working on was the sexual relationship coming from the characters growth and proximitry.

“How appropo,” I thought, “since the blog is “Nine Naughty Novelists.” However, after reading the nine bios I’m not sure I’m quite as naughty. I’d like to be, but wow, naughty takes a lot of effort. I might have to dress up—but then I realized that to be really naughty I should dress down—way way down, as in nearly nude. So I figured I’d better study what it means to be sexy .

It’s a term that is thrown around a lot today, through photographic images, double entendre television shows, and media that keeps the focus on sex, often at the expense of characterization, plotting and theme. Everyone from women in their mature years trying to ‘bring sexy back,’ to teenagers who are programmed to explore everything as they try to discover who they are or want to be, and finally down to the little second grader that I heard the other day asking if her shorts and top made her look sexy, are obsessed with the word. But what does it really mean?

One online definition is for the adjective, Sexy, “described as provoking or intended to provoke sexual interest, feeling sexual interest; aroused or interesting, exciting, or trendy.”

Actually though, that didn’t help me at all. Does that mean I have to tuck my boobs into an underwire push up bra, wear a thong, and impossibly high heels that I’d probably turn my ankle in when I tried to saunter to the bed? Does it mean I have to lightly run my fingers down my partners chest until I reach his own little tiny black silk bikini’s? Or should I reenact the Karma Sutra, and hope I can walk the next day? See what I mean? The whole thing gets very confusing. The problem is compounded by the fact that I write with a lot of humor.

On the first book I sold, Is There A Husband In The House?, I was writing a love scene, a scene that was actually very sexy, when I added a piece of dialogue. (I write with a lot of dialogue.) I got a note from my editor telling me she didn’t want to laugh in the middle of the love scene, so I needed to remove it. From a dramatic point of view, I completely understand her point, but from a personal one, I find that sex, love and laughter go together. I find that sexy—that relaxing that follows sensation and satisfaction, that appreciation of life that a sense of humor can bring to a situation, making it even more meaningful to those involved.

Ultimately, I think sexy really means being comfortable with yourself, being able to express yourself physically and mentally without fear, restraint or self-consciousness. Sexy is effortless, not manufactured. It’s not the smarmy line you can take two ways, or a comment that makes you roll your eyes, or a wardrobe that no woman serious about her profession would ever consider wearing in the office. (If I see one more top cut down to there and skirt cut up to here, I’m going to hurl!)

Instead being sexy is an experience that is as individual as each person, and as shared as each couple.

Sex is fantasy, but each one’s fantasy is different. What turns me on might not work the same for you. That’s what I love about romance literature and writers—no one approaches the word the same. It’s not just about thrusting hips and jutting appendages, or lips swollen to twelve times their natural size, or breasts so large that you can’t button a blouse. No. In our novels sex is powerful and arousing, but it is also understanding. Sometimes it’s tender, and sometimes fierce. Regardless of the approach, it’s the growing relationship between the couple that really makes it sexy. That is the type of sexy that romance writers excell at writing. I’m proud to be one of them.

Get in touch and tell me what sexy means to you?

Meg Lacey



Email: meg@meglacey.com 

Meg Lacey wrote her first novel in the sixth grade, but her fiction writing career didn't last. She went into theatre for a bachelor and masters in acting/directing. She ended up in media as a writer-producer. Over the years, Meg has been an actress, director, producer, creative director, CEO, copywriter, creative dramatics teacher, mime, mom, college instructor, and a school bus driver. She’s established two creative marketing/media companies, working as a V.P. and as CEO, working in all media: network cable programming to corporate initiatives; to video, games and interactive websites. The first book, in her paranormal series, Tales of the Sparrow, The Sparrow and The Hawk, was published 9/12, and the second, The Sparrow and The Vixen’s Three, will be available, 11/13. Her Samhain Publishing series, Million Dollar Men, launched with the first book, Million Dollar Mistake in 10/12, and she’s working on the second. And her first book for Entangled Publishing, Something’s Cooking, will be out 8/13. Her past Harlequin and current books are all available online.

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