International Heat gets Naughty: Naughty or Nice, Round 9

Up on the hot seat today is Lila Dubois. She's another of our naughtier members so I'm pretty sure I know which way you'll all vote today. Lila likes them big, that's why IHer's found themselves in the middle of a discussion about 'monster cocks', all in the name of research of course. ;) Be sure to check out her WEBSITE, and while you're there take a look at her Monsters In Hollywood series. :)

And now for the questions:-

Bath Mat - Not. Bath mats are an important safety feature of shower sex. Necessary, not naughty. It's on the safe sex checklist: Safeword, condom, lube, bath mat.

Park bench - Not. Bird poop. Blech.

Sun lounge - Viable location for sex, but is it intrinsically naughty? No. However, if we're talking about a sun lounge in a public place, or at a BDSM club, then there's a lest two different kinds of naughty happening.

Whipped cream - Not. Cliche. Plus sugar causes yeast infections. DON'T MAKE THAT FACE AT ME! WOMEN NEED TO KNOW THIS!

Pearls - Actual peals or a pearl necklace?

Duct tape - Not. Wait, what would a kidnapping role play be without it? Hmm. Let's just say if my man came towards me with a role of duct tape and an amorous look I'd grab a chair and a whip, lion tamer style, until I know what was going on.

Washing machine - Sooo sexy! Oh, naughty? I don't know. I don't own one. We go to the Laundromat, where we help other people fold clothes and talk bullshit. Oh, but to own a washing machine...so sexy.

Leather belt - NAUGHTY! Because leather is wrong. KIDDING. Oh delicious steak (plus my hubby owns beef cattle-I'm the worst PETA member ever). Naughty because it's a socially accepted, take it everywhere, BDSM toy!

Pen - is. Pen is. PENIS. I'm really cracking myself up tonight, which probably means this isn't funny at all. I'll say naughty, cuz I know my pens are.

Candles - Seriously Rhian, did you just pick items I use in inappropriate sexual ways in the Monsters in Hollywood series? Very Naughty in Gone with the Monster.

Sunscreen - Not. If the object is to get greased up there's less "ouch, damn, I rubbed some in my eye" ways to do it.

Wooden spoon - Um, is this included because half of Amazon.com is calling me a dirty slut for what happens with a wooden spoon in "Lights, Camera...Monsters?" Splinters...please. Don't use wooden spoons from the dollar store and it'll be fine!

Dining chair - Naughty. Is there a well-written bondage scene without a straight-backed dinning chair in it? It's really the most versatile piece of furniture any sexually adventurous person can own!

lol No Lila, I wasn't inspired by your monster series. Okay, is Lila naughty or nice?